(Jezebel) Benjamin B. alerted us to a New York Times story about a new trend in Japan: yaeba. Some young Japanese women are now having dentists artificially enlarge their incisors so as to achieve a look associated with a small mouth crowded with teeth. Michelle Phan, who blogged about the trend, explained: It’s not like here, where perfect, straight, picket-fence teeth are considered beautiful. In Japan, in fact, crooked teeth are actually endearing, and it shows that a girl is not perfect. And, in a way, men find that more approachable than someone who is too overly perfect. Communication Studies professor Dr. Emilie Zaslow had something different to say. She argued that the trend represented a fixation with youth, the sexualization of girls, and pressure on women to infantilize themselves: …the naturally occurring yaeba is because of delayed baby teeth, or a mouth that’s too small. In other words, having a crowded mouth makes you look younger, like a girl instead of a woman.

How fucked are the Japanese? Not even saying this as a semi-racist jokester, I’m saying this as a human person: the Japanese are fucked. I don’t know how they do it, but they come up with more and more ways to be perverted every day. If the Japanese spent an ounce of the energy on sciences as they do on their weird sex dreams then they would have cured cancer decades ago. It’s just bonkers. You fuck with a smile? That’s where the Japanese like to find their imperfections in women, their smile? That’s pretty fucking important to me. A girl with a fucked up grill is gross, poor gum:tooth ratio might as well be a scarlet letter. I prefer my gals to have perfect smiles and a few blemishes in their decision making skills with a poor ability to discern size. But hey that’s just me. Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all along. Maybe tentacle porn and anime and robotic hand-job machines is a how real men bust buts. Here I’ve been getting down with your “normal” (relative term, in the heat of battle I’ll definitely click some shit that will make me wanna puke when I see it in my history later) porn all along. Maybe if I was watching Marge Simpson get gangbanged by Xenu and the rest of the Galactic Confederacy as Ash Ketchum jerks off in the corner I could’ve saved some money and painted my ceilings myself. But at the end of the day I just don’t look at a hot chick and think, “OK make her tits smaller, now take that ass down a size. OK now we’re getting somewhere. How ’bout making her teeth look pre-braces, like elementary school-esque. Yea, that’s the ticket! Alright slap some Hello Kitty wear on her and I’ll be hard as an Atomic bomb.” At what point do weird Japanese fetishes just become Sandusky-ing bitches?