Listen I don’t want to brag but I was the most dominant gym class player in the history of Gym Class. I know I say shit like this all the time, but it’s true. I was a child prodigy. Like 90 times faster than every other kid in the world. In fact I think my parents signed a letter of intent for me to play football and baseball at Texas when I was 9. Unfortunately the older I got the slower and worse at everything I got and people started catching up to me. I went from being the next Bo Jackson to barely being a DIII athlete by the time I was an adult. Anyway the point of all this is even as somebody who completely and totally dominated PE, I would never want to go back and play those games again. I mean if I got on one of those scooters and tried to wheel myself around a gym right now I’m pretty sure all my bones would break including my dick. You want to stay in shape and do something athletic ? Play hoops like a normal person. Leave Steal the Bacon for little kids.

PS – I was 142-0 in Steal The Bacon. It got so bad when kids were called to against me they didn’t come out. They knew it was futile.