DM – A terrifying meteorite shower left more than 950 people injured, buildings devastated and the mobile network wiped out when it hit Russia this morning. Brightly burning rocks could be seen for miles as they crashed at around 9.20am local time and one bystander described it ‘like a scene from the Armageddon movie.’ The meteorite is believed to have landed in a lake near Chebarkul, a town in the neighbouring Chelyabinsk region. The city of Chelyabinsk, 900 miles east of Moscow and close to the Kazakhstan border, took the brunt of the super sonic impact.
Putin vs the Meteors, who ya got?
Seriously though this is kinda nuts. Do we need to go out to the oil rig and get Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to save the world? Did Putin just import Superman? Is this the start of end of days shit? Because I know there’s that meteor that’s supposed to miss earth by like 30 feet. Is this part of that one? Don’t lie to us government, because if all life on this planet is getting killed out soon then there are some things I need to do, i.e. drugs and hookers. Come clean so I can get fucked up and bang sluts, will ya? Nah I heard Bill Nye tell us that we have nothing to worry about so I’m sure we’re fine.
Just a good thing this meteor shower didn’t happen in the US. We’d probably be giving the meteors all kinds of rights and amnesty and shit. Maybe hook them up with a belated Valentines Day card so they don’t feel left out.