North Korean Military Officer Gets Executed By A Mortar For Drinking Booze During 100-Day Mourning Period For Kim Jong-Il
DM – A North Korean military officer has been executed with a mortar shell blast for disrespecting late ‘Dear Leader’ Kim Jong-il by drinking alcohol during the 100-day mourning period. South Korean media claim Kim Chol, the secretive state’s former vice minister of the army, was forced to stand on a spot that had been targeted with a mortar on the orders of Kim Jong-un. The North Korean leader, who took over from his father after his death in December last year, demanded Kim Chol was ‘obliterated’, with ‘no trace of him behind, down to his hair’ in January. It followed the North Korean regime’s decision to order its 25 million population to abstain from pleasurable activities – including drinking alcohol – in honour of Kim Jong-il. As an initial crack down on pleasure, anyone found to be not showing extreme distress in the hours after the dictator’s death were dealt with severely by being sent to six months in labour camps, according to reports leaking from the Stalinist nation. But when the mourning period to mark Kim’s burial was over and the strict ‘no pleasure’ 100 days followed, anyone who raised a glass of alcohol was in danger of receiving a death sentence.
Didn’t that clown Kim Jong-Il die like a year ago? It was last December I think, which means that this officer had a drink like 8 months ago, sat in a jail cell for the better part of a year, and they just got around to blowing him up now. Talk about a rough hangover.
Seriously though, how fucking absurd is this “no pleasure for 100 days” thing? Isn’t the life of a North Korean basically no pleasure for 365 days a year, every year? If I lived in North Korea I think I might be volunteering for the mortar execution. If I can’t drink alcohol then why stick around anyway, right? Booze would be the only thing that made life in that backwards-ass country tolerable, so if the lesbian-looking dictator told me I couldn’t drown my depression in some suds then I’d probably be hopping onto bombs myself.
Stories like this make you realize that picking between two retards for president (gimme some of that Ann Coulter hate, internet) isn’t as bad as we make it out to be. At least we don’t have some psycho stealing our 30 packs and throwing us onto mortars.