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(NYDN) — Brown-Bagging it just got a lot more expensive. A top designer is hawking gussied up brown paper lunch bags for $290 a pop, and fashionistas are lining up to buy them. The Jil Sander store in SoHo is already sold out of the Vasari sack, and you can’t buy it online either. A black leather version retails for $630. W Magazine gushed that it’s “perfectly in sync with the fashion house’s minimalist roots. Forget recycling — this bag is a keeper.” But style mavens on the street say that this bag is an accessory to a crime — grand theft.

Oh man can you imagine being the kid who strolls into the first day of school with a bag that didn’t cost $290? What a fucking loser!  What do you have in there, Fruit by the Foot and a PB&J? Jesus Christ what’s welfare like? Do you even have a summer house? Go vote for Obama and sit at the socialist table and share all your snacks. The cool kids will be eating caviar and filet out of our Vasari sacks.