Panic Spreads as Danish Researchers Prove Girls Boobs are Getting Bigger, Sooner

Denmark – Pre-pubescent Danish girls are developing breasts a year earlier than previously and seemingly not as a result of their own hormones, according to a new survey from the Rigshospitalet’s Department of Growth and Reproduction. “We believe this is a result of environmental factors – hormone disrupting substances that have a strength to develop breasts despite the fact that the girls do not enter puberty. These substances are everywhere – in cosmetics, foodstuffs, paint – everywhere,” says Sr. Lise Aksglæde one of the authors of the report, naming parabenes and phthalates as two of the substances under suspicion. More than 2,000 Copenhagen girls between five and a half and 20 years of age have taken part in the puberty survey… “The results are very worrying. A dark horse has appeared that affects Danish children and we don’t know what it is. We keep on measuring substances such as phthalates and parabenes but this cannot necessarily give us the answer as to whether these are the substances affecting them,” says Rigshospitalet’s Department of Growth and Reproduction Head Professor Anders Juul.

Can someone explain to me what the problem is here? Danish girls are getting boobs so Denmark’s doctors are all supposed to get their lederhosen in a twist and declare a state of emergency? Is that it? According to the extensive research I’ve done scanning Wikipedia for ten seconds, Denmark is known as “the happiest place in the world” and the second most peaceful place on Earth. So now Danish teenagers will be sporting big giant prepubescent knockers at the sunny beaches of Scandanvia (I didn’t research all that much) a year early than they usually do. And this constitutes a crisis why? Or is it much more likely that Drs. Aksglæde and Juul simply want to keep on doing research into the developing racks of hot Danish teenagers? Make the good people of Denmark panicky about this non-issue so they’ll keep the grant money flowing and you can keep on measuring girls emerging juggs in the interests of science. I’m guessing Juul is a total pervert with an eye for jailbait. The Karl Malone of the Rigshospitalet. You don’t go through life with a title like Department of Growth and Reproduction Head Professor unless you’re a candidate for having the Danish Chris Hanson say to you “Abonnere…” (”Have a seat…”)

Jerry Thornton   |  Random Thoughts   |  04/28/09, 10:01 am    | 

32 People have left comments on this post



» MachoMans Fanny Pack said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:51 }

Now I’ll need identification proving they’re at least 12.

» Chainsaw said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:09 }

im moving to denmark.

» CptKballs said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:54 }

Hey there sweetie, how old are you?

16.

18? You’re first.

Mom!

I like where this is goin’! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy!

» stinkydial said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:22 }

it’s all in the milk.. drink lots of Brown Swiss milk, your titties grow fast..

» itsMurda said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:40 }

This is great news. Scandinavian chicks, especially Danish chicks are the biggest sluts in europe. With the exception of brutally drunk English mingers on holiday.

» slapntickle said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:23 }

tits!

» shadylady said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:54 }

itsmurda – don’t sleep on Romania and the Czech Republic.

» tuuubes said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:00 }

whats the best part about having sex with a 12 year old in the shower…

you can slick her hair back and she looks 8.

» itsMurda said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:51 }

I’m afraid of the eastern block countries, I don’t want to wake up in a bathtub with a kidney missing.

» parfore18beers said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:53 }

Just gave my wife a Cherry Danish last night.

» slapntickle said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:09 }

I know this sounds really ghey, but i have been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and she is expecting a proposal soon. please give me reasons why i shouldnt get married?

thanks

» MachoMans Fanny Pack said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:54 }

1) You might be into guys

» slapntickle said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:27 }

is that what happened to you? fag

» Alabama Leperchaun said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:31 }

you cant watch all 9 innings of a red sox game when she is around

» Alabama Leperchaun said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:24 }

3) you no longer own your own dick

» windycitywoodrow said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:57 }

In-laws

» slideintothird said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:34 }

the push for kids

» itsMurda said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:39 }

You will probably never experience happiness ever again.

» MachoMans Fanny Pack said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 10:04:43 }

Easy… Slapntickle… No need to call me a fag… Slapntickle..

Just busting balls… Slapntickle

» Deke Zucker said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 11:04:43 }

» Slapntickle said: { Apr 28, 2009 – 10:04:09 }

I know this sounds really ghey, but i have been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and she is expecting a proposal soon. please give me reasons why i shouldnt get married?

—————–

Easy. Take a look at her mom. If her mother doesn’t look milftastic like Christie Brinkley, throw her back and find someone with better genes. No way you marry something that will turn into a squat yeti after the first kid.

» Dr. Van Nostrand said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 11:04:34 }

slapntickle said: { Apr 28, 2009 – 10:04:09 }
I know this sounds really ghey, but i have been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and she is expecting a proposal soon. please give me reasons why i shouldnt get married?

thanks

This is an easy one– here’s reason #1: she’s ‘expecting’ a proposal. RUN MOTHERFUCKER!

» slapntickle said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 11:04:09 }

thanks for the advice, her mom is about 50 and i would probably bang her (huge real tits, not overwieght, and a black chick’s ass) so im mgood in that department.

» Allenfor3 said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 11:04:40 }

I studied abroad in Copenhagen, Denmark last semester. SO TRUE. Girls in clubs would be 15 or 16 and legit look like 23 year old american girls. Everyone was saying it, even the kids there from France, Belgium, Italy, etc. Denmark has a good problem over there…

» SaneDane said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 11:04:49 }

Hi, since I’m Danish – and a steady lurker here at BSS – I gotta coment this one. Suprisingly enough our media is taking this a litle bit more serious. The doctors were on the radio this morning and our newspapers have stories on parents who are very very conserned.

And yes, in general our girls are just the hottest girls on the planet. We do have sunny beaches and the girls are often topless. Deal with it! (I know I do)

btw, if abonnere is meant to mean Have a seat, then you are way of. It actually means subscribe, like a subscribtion on a magazine.

» StallworthsDrivingSkool said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 11:04:06 }

slapntickle

you’ll end up wearing matching rubinstein jerseys to sox games in 5 years.

» MachoMans Fanny Pack said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 11:04:46 }

» SaneDane said: { Apr 28, 2009 – 11:04:49 }

btw, if abonnere is meant to mean Have a seat, then you are way of. It actually means subscribe, like a subscribtion on a magazine.

————————–

Maybe he just meant he had a boner.

» SaneDane said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 12:04:47 }

A boner? Well, it makes more sence than a subscribtion.

» southie said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 01:04:59 }

i also spent two weeks in copenhagen. not only do the 16 year olds look like 15 year olds, the 45 year olds also look 25. most beautiful blondes in the world.

» southie said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 01:04:17 }

haha 16 yrs olds look like 25 i meant

:-/

» tontochoc said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 05:04:47 }

The issue is that adult assholes are having underage sex and then saying she looked 16 (legal age of consent).

» SaneDane said: { Apr 28, 2009 - 05:04:10 }

Not that I’m trying to top you Americans or anything, but in Denmark the legal age of consent is only 15.

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