Patriots Porn
Last week SI published a poll of NFL players that said Rex Ryan was the coach guys most want to play for. And for the life of me I can’t make sense of it. All I can figure is they watched him on Hard Knocks grabassing his star players and they see him at the podium every week yukking and guffawing it up with the adoring New York press and it must look like fun to play for him. But when you watch Belichick in action, getting down into the nuts & bolts of coaching his players up… schemes, reads, tendencies, situational football… and you have to think that he would be a million times better to play for. A guy who’s got no interest in the cameras or hearing his own voice or making the back page of the tabloids or lining up a TV gig. Just someone who knows how to put you in the best position to win. I’m convinced that if SI took a poll among serious, hard core football lifers… guys who truly love the game and aren’t just there to get rich and bone groupies… The Hooded One would win unanimously.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to light some candles, put on my silk pajamas, queue up Lionel Ritchie’s “Hello” and watch this video again. This time I’m going to time it for the 3:30 mark when Belichick is saying “Oh, yes. Yyyyes! Love it!!!”
what a stupid fucking story this is.
Jerry you are such a fossil. I just googled hello by lionel ritchie. the song was written in 1984. you do realize 80% of the stoolies weren’t even born then? How about updating your references.
yawn. news flash–these players do not relate to belichick in any way shape or form. they respect him and listen to what he says b/c he has a pedigree and is a proven winner. i get the feeling that nobody likes working for him. rex has something called a “sense of humor.” bill has no concept of that whatsoever.
Blog grade – D
not even embarrassed that i busted a nut in class watching this the best part was when bb goes this is what we want before the last pick
Granted the guy is a world class coach but he has the personality/charisma
of an Egg a Muffin
dont listen to them Jerry- keep dropping the Lionel Ritchie references. I can see Jerry making a Belichick bust while listening to the song.
Didn’t he walk off the field during a Super Bowl game with time still left on the clock?
Who wouldn’t want to play for that guy?!?! Coach ‘em up, put in the best position to win, out-scheme the other guys, and “just f-ing win baby”!
Best coach in football and ever. A+ thanks, made my morning that much better. All you haters go to BSNY and suck a dick over there.
evil one, how does he not have a personality? you’re clearly referencing his attitude toward the press. when the press isn’t around he’s a nice, like-able guy … with a better sense of humor than that fat idiot in NY that just throws out stupid one-liners.
“Where’s the pass rush?”
Patriots fans, 2005-2010
goosebumps
its not his job to put a show for the media like ryan does hes not a act for hire for bar mitzvah parties he the best coach in the league who tells the media only wat they need to know and nothing more and most players like a respect him thats y they sacrifice themselves for the team thats y divas adn self proclaimed classy guys are attracted to ryan but for the recrord ryan is a great coach
he loves the hetty JAMMMMSS…. brah
Most telling line in that whole video was in the locker room and BB says “We haven’t won anything yet” thats in stark contrast to the Jets and their 9 Superbowl victories this year.
Not gonna lie, “That’s a champion right there” made me tear up a little.
rex doesnt put on a show for the media or that cameras, thats just his personality. don’t talk shit because your coach has the personality of a corpse.
read Patriot Reign by Michael Holly. He’s got a dry, sarcastic sense of humor that is easily mistaken for attitude or arrogance if you don;t know him well. He stonewalls the media b/c it is in no way productive toward his team’s chances of winning. the more info you give them, the more chances they have of twisting what you say into some bullshit behind-the-scenes story. he’s paid to win games, not be the life of the party.
My pants are getting tight for Monday Night!
can you add this to the list of things men should do.
agree with you 100% michael scarn- Patriot reign was a great book, pretty much the only insight we ever get to see behind the scenes at Gillete.
I’ve said it before Rex is a fat loveable coach, he loves the attention and loves to hear his voice, maybe he does it to draw attention away from his players, maybe he does it cause he wants to be liked and be the anit belichick.
Shouldn’t do.
no busting nuts to Bill wearing Uggs
if you catch Belichick after a win on the Big Show he jokes around and does open a up a bit
why do I see belechick4pres and Scarn exchaning emails that lead to a night of Patriots film watching and mutual masturbation? If they could get jerry to join in it would be heaven for them.
Lets look at the list of coaches who were not known for their funny bone. Bill Belichick, Bill Parcells, Chuck Knoll, Tom Landry, Bill Walsh, Bill Cowher, Joe Gibbs, I see a trend here. I’d even put Ditka in there when he coached the Bears, when he went to New Orleans and became a lovable happy guy he almost destroyed the franchise with Ricky Williams.
it’s obvious. bellicheat is a great coach, but a douche. rex ryan is a bit pompous, but a very good coach who actually has a personality.
wildmanpete says:
Jerry you are such a fossil. I just googled hello by lionel ritchie. the song was written in 1984. you do realize 80% of the stoolies weren’t even born then? How about updating your references.
No shit? Really? Well when did “40 Year Old Virgin come out? Because that was the reference I was making.
You really are a fucking moron, aren’t you? I’d be embarrassed for you if you didn’t sound like such a cunt.
^^^Whoa, Jerry with the left hook to the chin, Nice!!!!!
jerry shut the fuck up. get your conceited head out your ass
He is easily one of the best coaches in the league if not the best. I dont hate rex as much as i used to but i digress. Belicheck has done more with this young defense and set the patriots up for multiple seasons of sucess on the defensive side of the ball.
I couldnt imagine having boden on this team or ty warren for that matter. Rex although successful has been coaching veterans who have already been there. Barring a lockout id say Billy has set this team up quite nicely where as rex’s team is really only built for this season. Not that he drafted him but Gholston is not even close to being a starter in his third season where as Belicheck has whipped multiple rookies into shape in one off season.
Win or lose this week its pretty remarkable
Is it just me or does he sound a lot like Will Farrel? lol Best coach by far.
It’s obvious that Belichick doesn’t lack for personality. He just chooses not to show it to the media, who are essentially vultures looking to create controversy. The best way not to be misquoted or have your words twisted and used out of context…..is to say nothing publicly. He does that well.
For a guy with no supposed personality, there are certainly a lot of players who love to play for him. Ask Deion Branch, Tedy Bruschi, or even Randy Moss.
boring bill
Jerry’s the man
jerry skipped the smokeshow, and jerked off to this video
i think Jerry is correct on a few things. As a coach, bill might be best ever to play for. But he’s not just the coach anymore. He’s a ruthless GM who thinks his coaching, drafting and free agent methods are more important than great talent. Proven wildly wrong with free agent mistake moves like Asante Samuel and Deion Branch dumb trades with Mike Vrabel and Richard Seymore and horrible drafting recently like the entire 06 draft. Also, i think Bellichick is as much of a media whore as anyone. Fact, Bill gets more play being the asshole he is than if he just answered a few basic questions. If he hated the attention so much he would act like a normal human being. He doesnt, why? cause he LOVES the attention. He’s just like Parcells.
And now this Randy Moss trade will come back to haunt them in the postseason when they need points against good defenses and everyone is covered A LA the Browns game. Nobody on this roster warrants a double….nobody
Tom Brady once said, I dont need my coach to be my friend. I need a coach that will make me a better player and tell me what i did wrong.
hey plange.. go look at Randy Moss’s post-season stats. Randy Moss doesnt do shit in the playoffs. FACT.
smusz, he scored the second to last TD in the super bowl. But you’re right, that didnt matter cause the defense couldnt hold eli off. And that defense was IONS better than the piece of shit defense they have right now. Trust me dude, a deep threat would be a nice asset in the playoffs when the Pats are down 14-0 in the first quarter
Hey plange, thats the dumbest post on here so far. Look at the numbers for this season against good teams WITHOUT randy moss. They score more points without him. It took them 2 or 3 games to figure it out but now their offense is better and eats more clock. Think before you type.
I have a boner. And this is totally what I do with the Pats when playing Madden. Jam em up, disguise the coverages, bring that pass rush. Just like Bill preaches. Which still makes me a complete fucking dork.
1) Randy Moss not being a Patriot will cost NE a trip to the superbowl. Write that down. Because someone is going to get a lead on them and commit to stopping the short passing game. It might be my Ravens, it might be the Jets, could even be the freaking KC Chiefs.
2) Bellicheck is just so fake. First, he’s a cheater. Second, he’s fake a hell. No legitimate personality. Rex is a tool, as a Ravens fan, I’m glad he’s not our headcoach. But he’s real. He’s a real man. A straight shooter. Bellicheck . . . well like Frank said about Sosa in Scarface . . . “he’s a snake. you turn your back on him, he stick it in.”
Belichick might be a cheater, but you’re a faggot.
iamrandy
against Pitt they looked great. thats it. dont tell me games against indy’s D and detroit’s D prove they’re good. Theyve struggled against everyone else since Moss’s departure. And they will struggle this week and next against GB. Deal
Go, Jerry, Go!! Screw the college-pukes who won’t pay $35 for a concert that ain’t happening.
Devin! Devin!
*fap-fap-fap-fap-fap
I would have hated to be Jerry’s family at Thanksgiving…
How many games has Moss won for Min. or Ten. so far? You guys are so fucking stupid.
Did you also know that Most of Brady’s INT’s were when he was targeting Moss?
Can’t believe people still think Moss is in his 2007 form. That was 3 years ago! The dude is older, slower, doesnt go after the ball like he used to. Hes only good at running fly routes! Thats it! I loved Moss when he was here, but the dude doesnt try anymore.
Who really thinks Rex is funny? Did you see that Tom Brady comparison press conference he had the other day comparing looks and wives? That was so gay. I get a kick outa the NY press groupies that start laughing just when he opens his mouth to talk. And that one where he dressed up like his brother? Oh hysterical. Is he a head coach or a comedian? Bunch of toadies.
Plange- how the can you say letting all those FAs walk was a mistake when the pats just keep fucking winning?
best writer in boston.
Hilarious, just hilarious.
Blog Grade – A
jerry I was gonna hop in and defend your great 40 year old virgin reference at wilmanpete but looks like you got your own back. PS, you won’t make it to the 3:30 mark. Its too intense. You’ll end up watching everybody loves raymond.
He had me at “Jams!”.
This is honestly the worst football blog i have ever said
What an awkward exchange between Bill and Kraft at the beginning…. looks like they have no relationship at all.