Today is the first official day of Patriots Training Camp. Most years I just want it to be over and for the real games to start. But this year is different. This is the Year of Brady’s Comeback, and I don’t want to rush through anything. I want to savor every minute of this one. I want the rest of the NFL, who got a free pass last year courtesy of The Knee Injury That Shall Not Be Named, quaking in their cleats. I want them feeling the seismic disturbance coming from Foxboro, see the smoke beginning to rise, and know that Mt. Brady is going to erupt in five weeks and unleash a rain of hot, molten hell down upon them.

For Pats fans, this camp is going to be the foreplay before the great sex of the regular season. It’s the coming attractions and animated garbage flying into the trash can before the movie starts. It might not be Christmas Day, but it’s at least Dec. 1st. When we get to start opening the Advent Calendar and enjoy the delicious candy goodness of preseason stories. Every camp has them, and after the ultimate disappointment of last season and the massive roster turnover this offseason, this one should have more than most. Just to separate them into two categories:

What We Know About the Pats as Camp Opens:

  • Belichick is Satisfied With His Linebackers – Its odd, given that they seemed woefully thin at the position last year, but all he did was subtract Mike Vrabel. He did draft Tyrone McKenzie who’s out for the season. McKenzie had the decency at least to get IR’ed in minicamp, giving Belichick ample opportunity to pick somebody up, but he hasn’t. Shawn Crable never took a snap last year, and he’s starting camp on the PUP list, so your OLBs right now are Adalius Thomas, Pierre Woods, Vince Redd and a recycled Tully Banta-Cain. And their ILB corp is pretty much Jarrod Mayo, Tedy Bruschi and the conch shell they blow to summon Junior Seau. It’s one of those situations that test your faith in Belichick, the way your faith in God gets tested when you see war, a natural disaster or “Dance Your Ass Off.”
  • Belichick Was Not Happy With His Cornerbacks – He’s come as close to totalling the CB spot and overhauling it from the drivetrain up as you can in one year. Gone are the likes of Deltha O’Neal and Ellis “Sorriest Corner in the League” Hobbs. In are veterans Leigh Bodden and Shawn Springs. He’s also got Terrance Wheatley, who was IR’d as a rookie returning, as well as Johnathan Wilhite, who started the last month of the season and seemed to play well. They also added ridiculously athletic draft pick Darius Butler. Last year the Pats couldn’t stop anyone in the Red Zone, couldn’t get off the field on 3rd down, and made guys like Seneca Wallace look like Johnny Unitas, and clearly this was the reason why because…
  • Belichick Was Happy With His Safeties – It sounds strange to say given that he used his first draft pick on Patrick Chung. But in all likelihood, we’ll be returning the same two starters. Brandon Merriweather seems on the verge of becoming a solid player. And while James Sanders gets overlooked, Belichick sat him down this year, told him he’s a guy the coaches have always felt like they can count on to step up when the game is on the line, and signed him to a 3 year extension. Plus we finally get to see what the coaches have in mind for Tank Williams.
  • The Pats Like Old Running Backs - There are four Halfbacks in the NFL over the age of 32. Three of them are Patriots.
  • There’ll Be No Pussying Around – The Pats have two-a-days scheduled for practically the entire first two weeks of camp. It must be what you do when your season ended in December.

What We Don’t Know:

  • The Condition of the World’s Most Important Joint - There’s every reason to think Brady’s knee is fully recovered. He swears on Giselle’s butt cheeks that he’s 100%. But the speculation is unavoidable. His comeback is THE biggest story in the NFL as camps open, and all those reporters who’ve been pulled off Favre Watch have to do something, so they’ll fan the flames of worry and doubt. The other day Greg Dickerson made some comment about Carson Palmer never being the same after his knee surgery. Palmer’s post-injury numbers: 2006: 4,035 yds. 2007: 4,131 yds. Ultimately Brady’s knee will be a non-story, but for now it’s the football version of Jon & Kate; it just won’t go away now matter how hard you wish.
  • Who’s Calling the Plays – As in the 2005 season, the Pats don’t have anyone named as Offensive Coordinator. All we know for sure is that plays will get called, and the person calling them will be an NFL Head Coach two years from now.
  • Who the Fullback Is – The Pats made no effort to keep Heath Evans and don’t have a Fullback on the roster. In situations where they need a blocking back, one would assume we’ll see Russ Hochstein and occasionally Richard Seymour on the goal line, but no one knows for sure.
  • Who’s the Lead Back – It’s probably stupid to even use the term “lead back” in this offense, as they’ll no doubt run a lot of empty backfields and rotate backs through. But the guy with the most to prove is Laurence Maroney so you’d assume he’ll get the bulk of the carries.
  • Is This the End of the Line for Vince Wilfork – Wilfork wants to stay. The Pats want to keep him. The rest is up to the bean counters. Presumably they picked up Ron Brace to replace him if he goes, but it took VW years to adjust to playing 2-gap. You’d have to think they won’t want to rely on Brace as soon as next year. Plus the Pats have a history of re-upping with guys who have played up to their rookie contracts, as they did with Richard Seymour. And those negotiations were much tougher than these.
  • Who’s the Backup QB – Since they cut then re-signed Matt Guittierez last year, I assume Kevin O’Connell has the job, but it’s anyone’s guess. All we know for certain is they won’t need a backup because a loving, just and merciful God would not let Brady get hurt two years in a row. No matter how hard the rest of the NFL prays for it.

Anyway, camp for me doesn’t officially begin until we get some good Belichick quotes about how it’s like building a house, you start with the foundation then you build one brick at a time, which should come at his first press conference today at noon. It might all get old by the 3rd preseason game when we’ll all be begging for the real games to begin. But in the meantime just enjoy it. It’s not football, but it’s close.