A Woodland resident made a death threat against the Pedroia family on Friday, but was quickly caught by Woodland police. At 12:29 p.m., police responded to the Pedroia family’s business, Valley Tire Center, at 179 West Main St. An officer spoke with the caller, 47-year-old Kenneth Samuels, and one of the Pedroias, according to a press release from police Sgt. Heath Parsons. Police determined the suspect had made multiple phone calls to the business and threatened the men of the Pedroia family. Samuels said the Pedroia men would be shot and killed, Parsons stated. AT&Ttraced the call back to Samuels. Police then arrested him for making a death threat. Samuels was booked into Yolo County Jail. The charge of making a death threat carries a maximum penalty of one year in county jail or state prison. The reasons behind the threats were not stated.

I can’t claim to have the brilliant detective skills of the Woodland police department, but allow me to take a stab at why Kenneth Samuels would threaten to kill the Pedroia family. Gee, do you think it could be because Dustin Pedroia told the world what a backwardsass, jerkwater hellhole his home town is? That Woodland is a squalid, hillbilly, podunk stain on the map where the homes have wheels and the cars are up on blocks? And Samuels is too much of a pussy to stand up to all 5’8″ of Dustin and tell him to his face so he takes the coward’s way out my threatening Pedroia’s parents and sisters while their busy hustling tires. By the way, nice crime. The douchebag makes a threat over the phone like he’s Gary Sinise in “Ransom” because there’s no way Valley Tire Center would be equipped with Caller ID. Actually though, in Woodland they’re probably all still using rotary dial.