ESPN LA – It’s an annual holiday tradition: put the star on the tree and put the Los Angeles Lakers on TV. And Lakers head coach Phil Jackson is tired of it… “I don’t think anybody should play on Christmas Day,” Jackson said. “Soccer teams don’t play this time of year, they take a break. I don’t understand it… It’s like Christian holidays don’t mean anything to them anymore,” said Jackson, the son of a minister. “We just go out and play and entertain the TV. It’s really weird.” The Lakers’ much-anticipated matchup with Miami’s Big Three won’t feature both teams at their best, according to the coach. “I don’t know if you can adequately even prepare for these games,” Jackson said. “You don’t have a walk-through on the day of the game. It’s just a difficult game. … Your little kids are putting batteries in toys to put their Christmas presents together, there’s all kinds of crazy stuff going on and now your head’s got to get focused on a game in the middle of the afternoon on Christmas Day? That game is just real hard to measure how to bring focus to it.”
When you”re right you’re right, Phil Jackson. The Christian holidays ARE important. Christmas IS one of the most sacred days of the year. Which is precisely why I want you playing games that day. Because F-you. You’re job is to entertain us. That’s why you get paid absurd amounts of money. You’re the dancing bears of American society. When we pull on your chain and the music starts, you dance. Yours is not to complain or ask why. That’s what we’re paying you for. Let Kobe’s butler and Pau’s nanny handle hooking up the XBox and putting the Legos together. You just play when we tell you to play, asswipe. And the best part is, I probably won’t watch a second of your stupid game. But I want you playing anyway, just in case I need something to pay attention to so I don’t have to listen to my Irish Rose’s family ask me what Barstool Sports is again. Besides, Zen Master, Christmas isn’t all about you. There are plenty of degenerate gamblers out there who need a Merry Christmas too. So quit your whining and get ready to play. When we want your opinion about how we should worship the Baby Jesus, we’ll ask for it.