OWENSBORO, Kentucky- A woman named Toni Tramel is accused of squirting her breast milk on the face of a police officer after being arrested for public intoxication. Kentucky woman Toni Tramel was arrested after consuming too much alcohol and taken to a local lockup by officers. Toni Tramel was taken to Daviess County Detention Center in Owensboro, Kentucky. Reports said 31-year-old Toni Tramel was ordered to change into jail clothing, but was much too intoxicated to undertake the task. Being helped by a female officer named Lula Brown, Toni Tramel was told that she had to take her top and bra off. Apparently angered by this order, Toni Tramel decided to squirt officer Lula Brown in the face with milk from her breast in the shower area of the lockup. Officer Lula Brown said Toni Tramel “grabbed her breast and squirted breast milk hitting me in the face and neck region.”

Sadly there are times when our perceptions are far greater than reality.  Like say the word “prostitute” and the mind’s eye quickly conjures up images of Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” or Elisabeth Shue in “Leaving Las Vegas.”  As opposed to say, the more accurate image, which would be an 80 lb heroin addict with open sores and teeth like a Jack O’ Lantern.  Or the phrase “lesbian prison sex,” which  invokes thoughts of  a hundred  late night Cinemax movies, as opposed to the reality of 400 lb bull dykes flopping around in each other’s sweat on a cheap cot.  So I wouldn’t blame any guy for thinking the notion of a chick squirting milk on the face of a female cop is the stuff of fetish videos.  But when the reality is that Toni looks like this and Officer Lula probably looks like this, then cold reality slaps you upside the head yet again.  One look at that picture of Tramel and I’m guessing that the whole incident was about as sexy as having a White Russian… double shot of vodka… thrown in your face.