youk

A random collection of the things written on my notepad when I woke up all hungover this morning:

  • * 4 hits, all of them singles, and 3 errors. I can’t believe I missed Jim & Pam’s wedding for this.
  • *If there’s any positive you can take out of this, it’s that at least there’s no one to blame. Nobody got hits. John Lackey pitched the game of his life. All you can do is parrot little Franconese platitudes about cap tipping, credit giving and competing tomorrow.
  • *Seriously, what else can you say? Tito put out his best lineup and they didn’t hit. I have no idea what the hysterical mental patients are going to scream about for the next 12 hours. “They should’ve hit home runs! Not all those slow rollers to second!!!”?
  • *Sweet gig for Don Orsillo. But a little piece of Sean McDonough dies every time DO opens his mouth. I have it on good authority that McDonough hates Orsillo more than he hates crap in his pants. That off mic DO doesn’t sound anything like McDonough but stole his act, was willing to take less money and hereby killed his career. Someone should check to see if Orsillo has a green card.
  • *Sign that the 7th Seal has been broken: Right now ARod has more RBIs than the entire Red Sox roster.
  • *Game 1 sucked, but there’s no reason to auto erotic asphyxiate ourselves just yet. If they come out of tonight with a split, the series will not go back to Anaheim.
  • *”Those horrible calls by the umpires had no effect on the outcome. The Angels outplayed the Red Sox and that’s why they won.” There, Ray Lewis. Now you try it. Trust me, it’s good for the soul.
  • *The ump who blew those calls at 1B is CB Bucknor. The over/under on how many columns Shaughnessy will get out of that fact is 4.5.
  • *Buck Martinez is alright. What wrecks him for me is I get fixated on the way his voice sounds exactly like Sen. Geary from “Godfather II.” It’s like a song I can’t get out of my head. I keep waiting for him to say “I don’t like your kaaaahnd…”
  • *Non-baseball note of the morning: Obama won the Nobel Prize? Really? I expect when he goes up to accept it, security will have all eyes on Kanye.
  • *At first I was wondering why Tito brought Daniel Bard in down by 5. But it made a lot of sense to get his feet wet in a no-pressure situation. And watching him throw a fastball 100 and a splitter 90 on consecutive pitches? Rookie or no I’d rather have him on the mound with tonight’s game on the line than anyone on the staff.
  • *It’s uncanny how much Bobby Abreau looks like Carlos Mencia.  And ironic, since they both like to steal.
  • *”TBS: Very Funny” is an oxymoron.