Random Notes from the Super Bowl

This is just gist of the notes I typed into my BlackBerry during the game last night.  Or at least it’s what little I could decipher since I was half drunk and was using my clumsy, smoked ribs grease laden thumbs.  (Note: If the cops ever suspect me of drunk driving and ask me to text the alphabet, I’m just going to climb into the back of the cruiser.) :

*There’s nothing like the sight of Carrie Underwood in a skin tight white Elvis jumpsuit to make you wish someone hadn’t ruined the live Super Bowl nipple slip for the rest of us.  Thanks a lot, guys.

*Drew Brees is a better QB than Peyton Manning, flat out.  He outdid Manning in every statistical category this year and should have won the MVP.  When Manning put up the best numbers, he won.  Now that someone else is, he’s winning just by reputation.  But now his reputation should be cemented as the leader of the best regular season team in football.  A would-be dynasty that’s played its way into One Hit Wonder status.  Manning is the Greg Maddux of football.

*I couldn’t believe how well Dwight Freeney was playing early.  But they were pulling him on short yardage and he turned invisible in the 2nd half so I assume his ankle just couldn’t hold up.  You wouldn’t have known it from the way he bullrushed Jermon Bushrod (say that 10 times fast) for that sack, when it looked like the Saints were in for a Reggie White-vs.-the-Pats kind of day with Freeney.  But after halftime they could’ve put baby powder on the ground in front of him and he wouldn’t have left footprints.

*It probably didn’t help Freeney any that halftime was a half an hour long.  I’m sure some of that time was to remove the staging, but most of it was getting Pete Townsend and his walker with the tennis balls on the bottom out of there.

*The thing is, I always liked the Who.  And they sounded great.  But since when did the Super Bowl halftime show become Classic Hits radio?  Could they possibly get someone a little more… relevant?  I mean, should Herman’s Hermits be waiting by the phone?

*The thing I like best about Brees is his ability to check down.  It looked to me like he was going High-to-Low on virtually every snap.  The Colts overplayed the deep ball and after that stupid long attempt on 3rd & 2, he never tried to hit over the top the whole rest of the game.  And on his last like 20 attempts, I don’t think he threw more than 3 incompletions.

*I was never the biggest one for Super Bowl ads anyway.  Preferring instead to spend that time getting more beer and smoked ribs.  But even the most diehard fan of the ads has to admit they’re starting to lapse into self parody.  The animal is going to do something cute to get a Coke.  The douchebag is going to do something stupid to get a Bud Light.  The animal is going to do something embarrassing to the douchebag.  If they want my attention, just go back to showing hot slutty women the way God intended?  And I’m talking about Cindy Crawford or Ali Landry.  Stop trying to throw that Danica Patrick weak cheese past me.

*Did you see Jim Caldwell’s reaction to… well, to anything?  He wasn’t stoic, he was catatonic.  I was waiting for the Colts trainer to check for vitals or hold a mirror under his nose.  A good Vegas prop bet would’ve been whether his headset was hooked up to smooth jazz or white noise.

*Everything I hate about America, land that I love, can be summed up in one sentence: After the game NFL network had Kim Kardashian on.

*Like El Pres earlier, Sean Payton deserves all the credit in the world for having the cojones to try something radical like the onsides kick.  And it’s ridiculous that Belichick got ripped all year for being just as bold.  Having said that, Hank Baskett should’ve made the play.  I know those Super Bowl balls are slick, but God knows he’s shown the ability to handle overinflated pigskins.

*If the Colts had won, Joseph Addai would’ve deserved the MVP.  He ran as well as I can ever remember seeing him.  Maybe the Saints were just overplaying the pass or what, but on those inside zone runs, he was finding cutback lanes and making quick decisions and hitting holes.  Of course it wouldn’t have happened since the league is contractually obligated to give every award with an “MVP” in the title to a Manning.

*Pierre Garcon, be ready to be introduced to the underside of the Fung Wa by the legion of Manning apologists.  Of course that’s to be expected when you’re only the second best Pierre on the field.

*It’s remarkable that Dallas Clark didn’t have 200 receiving yards.  No one Gregg Williams put on him could touch him.  The first like 4 passes Manning threw were to Clark with Roman Harper on him.  Later he torched Scott Shanle for 3 straight.  If I was Bob Kraft I’d trade the Showcase Cinemas for the guy.

*This was the first game in Super Bowl history won by a coach whose last name is a homonym for the opposing QB’s first name.  Take THAT! CBS’ Department of Useless Factoids!

*On Bourbon St. there were dozens of beatings, robberies, sexual assaults, widespread rioting and massive amounts of looting.  Or as the New Orleans PD calls it, “relative calm.”