New Castle, PA via SportsbyBrooksPittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger might be spending more time in this area in the months ahead. Sources have confirmed that Roethlisberger is engaged to Ashley Harlan, a 2004 graduate of Laurel High School… Harlan was a volleyball, basketball and softball star at Laurel prior to her graduation. She went on to play softball at St. Francis University of Loretto.

So this is Roethlisberger’s fiancee?  OK, she’s reasonably cute.  I especially like the black and white headshot picture.  It shows a little bit of an Elisabeth Hasselbeck thing going on there.  And if you’re partial to slightly jock-y women and you were just some ordinary yokel, I’d say you were doing just fine for yourself.  But to paraphrase Mr. Potter in “It’s a Wonderful Life,” Ben Roethlisberger is no common, ordinary yokel.”  He’s a 2-time Super Bowl champion NFL quarterback.  Guys with a resume like his are supposed to be pulling world class tail.  Women that would make European soccer players and tennis champs question their own manhood.  Again, taking nothing away from Miss Harlan, who is lovely and I’m sure is smart and reads lots of books, but this is what happens when you go around whipping your junk out in public and sexually preying on coeds.  You lose your drilling rights to all the prime real estate.  You have to settle.  Sorry, Ben, but the Giselle’s of the world don’t go out with guys when one of the questions on the first date has to be “Um, you’re not by any chance going to rape me in the bathroom, right?”  And they sure as hell won’t marry you.  So congratulations to the happy couple.  And best of luck to the future Ashley Harlan Rapelisberger.  Stay safe.

How would you rate Ashley?  Not on the Regular Guy Scale, but on the 2-Super Bowl Ring Quarterback Scale?  I give her about a 6. 1 Stars2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (2,376 votes, average: 4.02 out of 10)

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