Inside TrackIt’s been five long years since NESN hottie Hazel Mae bolted to the MLB Network after the sports channel refused to re-up her contract. And things around the Track Shack haven’t been the same … until now. She’s got big stilettos to fill, but we’re banking on Leah Hextall, a bodacious brunette, who, like Hazel, hails from the Great White North. And, unlike many of NESN’s hires (cough, Heidi Watney, cough), Leah seems to have some serious sports chops. The new girl from Manitoba comes to Boston from CTV… And, according to NESN’s breathless press release, she’s “an energetic personality on the air” with a deep knowledge of sports… Her grandfather, Bryan Hextall, is in the NHL Hall of Fame, and her cousin, Ron, who was an NHL goalie, is now an assistant GM with the LA Kings

The Inside Track can stop kidding themselves that any of us care whether or not NESN reporters know a lot about sports.  We’re not playing Stump the Schwab here.  That job isn’t about “serious sports chops.”  And it’s only marginally about personality.  It’s about looks, period.   Boston’s a tough market.  All we ask of our TV personalities is that they be stunningly attractive, dress provocatively, and have sex with our best athletes. It’s that simple. Those aren’t stillettos Leah’s being asked to fill.  They’re Fuck Me Pumps.  If we want information, we’ve got Dennis Eckersley and Andy Brickley.  Just bring the sex appeal and everything else will take care of itself.

So what do the Stoolies think of Leah Hextall?  I will recuse myself since I’m a major media figure and she and I will be Twitter following each other in a matter of hours, the way Jenny Dell and I do.  Instead I’ll just welcome Leah to Boston and I look forward to a long and rewarding friendship.

PS – Is it beyond Ron Hextall to come after somebody and smash his KOHO over their heads if they say something too crude?

@JerryThornton1

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