Reader Email – Female Stoolie Says To Keep Checking Out Chicks Because It Will Improve Your Sex Life
Obviously this woman is certifiably crazy, we all know that. However, it probably does indicate a larger issue with female jealousy at male ogling. SO here is what I have to say about that. Men are visual creatures. That fact is so obvious it’s hardly worth noting. Girls know it too, clearly, as they/we go bat shit over our hair/clothes/makeup/nails/grooming etc. Even girls in the most secure of relationships know that their male counterparts would probably do unforgivable things to spend the night with Scarlett Johansson. She probably even knows he watches porn with far better looking girls than she. But that’s not the point, because at the end of the day Scarlett Johansson or Sacha Grey aren’t a threat. They would never fuck her boyfriend anyway, thus it doesn’t matter. In the situations noted, those were real-life girls you and the poor bitten bastard were looking at. This sends the female brain into crazy-psycho bitch mode, freaking the fuck out, because now her boyfriend/husband/consistent fuck or whoever the fuck he is could actually have a chance with someone hotter. It doesn’t matter if you wouldn’t actually do anything. When a girl is with someone she wants to believe that she is the end-all-be-all in terms of his romantic interest. I dont know, maybe Frank Sinatra ruined us with the whole “only have eyes for you” thing – but girls really reall want to believe it. Most of the time she knows it’s total bullshit, but it’s more fun to think like that than to think about it rationally. It’s not fair, but it isn’t changing. Yea, I get the whole “piece of art” thing – but do you really want to bang a Jackson Pollock painting? Fuck no – they aren’t the same thing.
ALL THAT BEING SAID – GUYS, don’t stop it. 99% of the time (sorry 1% bitten victim), there is nothing that gets a girl crazy to fuck like having a potential threat. She has to prove she’s hotter/sexier/better in bed than the girl she knows you’re eyeing, I’m not condoning being a inappropiately rude. Guys know girls like attention. When their attention is diverted elsewhere they’re pissed. Don’t eye fuck babes so much that she wants to go pull a Heidi Montag and get like a dozen plastic surgeries – just enough to scare her horny.
As crazy as this fucking sounds I’m buying this whole cockamamie theory. It’s like what my old high school baseball coach used to say. The pine is the great motivator. If a chick thinks she is in danger of being replaced she’s going to go kamikaze on that dick to prove she still has it. It’s so simple I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before. From now on I’m eye fucking the shit out of every chick I see. Instant better sex life. Beats the hell out of marriage counseling. Done and done. Now KY show me your tits.