Reader Email – Female Stoolie Says To Keep Checking Out Chicks Because It Will Improve Your Sex Life
Reader Email
El Pres,
In response to the crazy, biting girlfriend -
Obviously this woman is certifiably crazy, we all know that. However, it probably does indicate a larger issue with female jealousy at male ogling. SO here is what I have to say about that. Men are visual creatures. That fact is so obvious it’s hardly worth noting. Girls know it too, clearly, as they/we go bat shit over our hair/clothes/makeup/nails/grooming etc. Even girls in the most secure of relationships know that their male counterparts would probably do unforgivable things to spend the night with Scarlett Johansson. She probably even knows he watches porn with far better looking girls than she. But that’s not the point, because at the end of the day Scarlett Johansson or Sacha Grey aren’t a threat. They would never fuck her boyfriend anyway, thus it doesn’t matter. In the situations noted, those were real-life girls you and the poor bitten bastard were looking at. This sends the female brain into crazy-psycho bitch mode, freaking the fuck out, because now her boyfriend/husband/consistent fuck or whoever the fuck he is could actually have a chance with someone hotter. It doesn’t matter if you wouldn’t actually do anything. When a girl is with someone she wants to believe that she is the end-all-be-all in terms of his romantic interest. I dont know, maybe Frank Sinatra ruined us with the whole “only have eyes for you” thing – but girls really reall want to believe it. Most of the time she knows it’s total bullshit, but it’s more fun to think like that than to think about it rationally. It’s not fair, but it isn’t changing. Yea, I get the whole “piece of art” thing – but do you really want to bang a Jackson Pollock painting? Fuck no – they aren’t the same thing.
ALL THAT BEING SAID – GUYS, don’t stop it. 99% of the time (sorry 1% bitten victim), there is nothing that gets a girl crazy to fuck like having a potential threat. She has to prove she’s hotter/sexier/better in bed than the girl she knows you’re eyeing, I’m not condoning being a inappropiately rude. Guys know girls like attention. When their attention is diverted elsewhere they’re pissed. Don’t eye fuck babes so much that she wants to go pull a Heidi Montag and get like a dozen plastic surgeries – just enough to scare her horny.
KY
As crazy as this fucking sounds I’m buying this whole cockamamie theory. It’s like what my old high school baseball coach used to say. The pine is the great motivator. If a chick thinks she is in danger of being replaced she’s going to go kamikaze on that dick to prove she still has it. It’s so simple I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before. From now on I’m eye fucking the shit out of every chick I see. Instant better sex life. Beats the hell out of marriage counseling. Done and done. Now KY show me your tits.
Try as they might, broads are just not funny
KY Leave your type outlandish theories to the Jesus freaks. Lies do not become us, babe.
would you have spelled cockamamie right if you didn’t watch bachelor pad the other night?
Cool opinion KY, now make me a sandwich
KY probably tips the scales at 2-bills and is yeastier than a loaf of Wonder bread.
I hate when chicks try to be funny and insightful, now why don’t you go knit me a sweater before I show you the back of my hand
KY does your father happen to own a lube company? and yes you are fat not just bigboned
I like how all the “female stoolies” like to give advice on how to get laid, or get more head, or whatever like they’re fucking Dr. Drew. Leave it to chicks to make everything about them. If I check out some smokeshow it’s not because I’m trying to make another chick jealous or want to fuck me, it’s because I can’t help it; it’s a natural response. There’s no ulterior motive. It’s men stuff. It’s what we do.
100% chance this ginger mick in the photo has a busted mug just like all the other micks out there…
dear chicks, were checking out other chicks cause were tired of fucking you, sincerely every man ever.
kris10?
Truly spoken just like a girl who has never been eye fucked in her life
by hfthethetjhetj on August 29, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Try as they might, broads are just not funny
By “broads” do you mean Pres? Because there’s zero percent chance a chick wrote this.
These chicks are just plain retarded. Your bf should be worried that you’re going to leave him, not vice versa. Why would you be with a dude who you’re scared is going to leave you or fuck someone else? You have to know that you got it, or at least act like it. If he starts slipping then just “accidentally” leave your hot ex’s Facebook page up on your laptop, or start dressing sexy when you’re going places without him. Gotta play the game, ladies. All of you guys act like you have 1 inch dicks, by the way. The ones making the comments about girls being funny. Mad at girls because no one wants to fuck you more than once. Maybe someday they’ll come up with a surgery that’ll fix your prob. I’m off to make sandwiches.
80-20 a homo wrote that. And not the good kind like hot lesbian homo. The bad kind where men fuck other men in the ass.
@jrabb55 is right, if a girl in the real world not the “internet wonderland” actually thinks theres a chance you would stick your dick in another chick she would just drop you as fast as advertisers drop pres. Well any girl that’s worth her salt, that is not a self conscious cunt whose just really a fuck buddy but doesn’t know it yet, would do that because she knows what she’s bringing to the table. Wifey material doesn’t put up with shit.
“make me a samich” = I am most likely 24 or younger and haven’t spent enough time in the real world to understand that women run everything. Don’t need to explain this further you’ll get it soon enough
Bobcabbit you are pathetic.
lol i said the same damn thing on the other post and no… ky jelly is not me
@bobcabbit hit the nail on the head, women run everything.
Its the truth man all my buddies growing up who acted like the man and thought they were masters of their domain might as well be in jail now wives have turned them into a shell of who they used to be. Whether this is a chick writing or not its on point – chicks are crazy they can only think irrationally, everything is the opposite of common sense
It show be a law that every time a woman tries to be funny, her boyfriend/ husband gets to fuck another chick. And she has to make him a sandwich for when he’s done
^should*
@jrab: play the game ladies? There’s a brilliant fucking idea. It’s actually women like you that are everything that’s wrong with dating. Play the game, p’shaw. Let me know how that works out for ya when you finally realize that you’ve “played the game” and lost every decent guy you’ve ever dated because we men are really simple creatures and get fed up with you playing your little fucking game. And that phrase right there is why you’ll constantly feel like you attract nothing but guys that treat you like shit and don’t respect you. Because you’ll be right. Have fun “playing the game”
P.S. maybe if you didn’t keep “playing the game” and pissing us off, we’d stop looking for other women to fuck. Probably not though, since I bet you do nothing in the sack that would keep things interesting anyway…
Girls weren’t built to be funny or insightful. They were built to bend over and take it in the ass. Nothing more, nothing less. Fact.
Sounds like terrible advice. I’d rather not get the silent treatment for hours.
jrab55…i love chicks like you. you’re probably good looking. i bet you end up marrying some dude who begins to cheat on you right as your looks begin to fade, which is probably in the next few years. lord knows 90% of women age like shit and begin falling apart in their late twenties. have fun being old, ugly, and alone.
old purple lips moronic Obama is thinking “I hate to see you go but, I love to watch u leave”. and thaw what america is thinking come election time. this pix is Obama watching his political career walk on by.
billyb ftw
KY could work at Barstool instead of Neil.