Reader Email

Hey Pres

So I was rummaging through my coworker’s wallet at work yesterday and found the token one condom that I know dudes carry around that’s usually expired and doesn’t get used either way, but whatever. Anyway, this happened to be a Trojan Magnum, you know, the one in the gold wrapper with the black writing that screams to the whole planet that you have a giant dick. I was discussing said condom with one of my girlfriends last night and we decided that there are 3 important questions that need to be answered: 1) Do dudes ever just carry around the Magnum in hopes of impressing chicks into screwing them and their huge cock? 2) If a guy actually DOES have a big dick, how and when does he determine he needs a Magnum? Does a chick have to tell them? Do they just figure it out on their own? What?

So as we are discussing this, we decide to compare a Magnum to a regular Trojan condom (I’m kind of a slut so I have various condoms in my vibrator drawer under my bed). Here’s the thing…they are exactly the same size. Upon inspection, we learned that they are virtually identical in every category, length, girth, tip size, etc. So we can assume that any average size dick will also fit into a Magnum, right?

Which brings me to my 3rd question: are Magnums simply a marketing gimmick used to help guys get laid? And if so, what are the ramifications if the world finds out that Magnum really means “I have an average size dick”…

brooke

People still use condoms? I feel like condoms were so 10 years ago when people still thought they could catch The HIV and shit. But once Magic hung a triple double on Aids, condoms went the way of the dinosaurs. Like what’s the worst that can happen now? A little Herp? Maybe knock a bitch up? I just feel like free love is back. Anyway in regards to these 3 questions.

1) Do dudes ever just carry around the Magnum in hopes of impressing chicks into screwing them and their huge cock

I suppose it’s possible. But I feel like most guys don’t want to admit they have a condom on them in the first place. Like if you admit you have a condom then you can’t say you don’t have one when it’s go time and you want to go bareback and the girl is being a jerk about it.

2) If a guy actually DOES have a big dick, how and when does he determine he needs a Magnum? Does a chick have to tell them? Do they just figure it out on their own? What?

Well if you’re like me and you have a monster dick it’s all about trial and error . I mean I knew I was packing an absolute snake so the first time I bought condoms I bought like 10 different packs. Everytime I beat off I’d try a new one. Just like buying cloths. Figure out what fits.  I just assume that’s what everybody did.

3rd question: are Magnums simply a marketing gimmick used to help guys get laid? And if so, what are the ramifications if the world finds out that Magnum really means “I have an average size dick”…

A marketing gimmick? Haha. Well let me put it this way. I’m a 5’10 Jewish guy and I can wear a magnum condom with no problem. So no I don’t think Magnum is simply a marketing gimmick to make guys seem like they got big dicks. Ha-ha. Nice theory though.

 

PS – The real reason I posted this email is because I’m intrigued by Brooke this self proclaimed slut. Chicks start throwing around phrases like “screwing them with their huge cock” and I start thinking Penthouse Letters and shit. This chick is so hot and dirty in my mind it’s not even funny.  Because frankly it’s just dishonest to send an email like this and be fat.