Reader Email – Auburn Dry Frat Trying To Compete Vs. Non Dry Frat For Chicks At Social Is High Comedy
Reader Email
Below is an email sent to the Chi Omega freshman from a FarmHouse (FH) about their social with them tonight. FH is a dry frat. Please read and thoroughly laugh and make fun of them from now on.
THE EMAIL
Baby Hooties,
Great moments are born from great opportunities. That’s what we have here tonight ladies. Tonight you will decide your alliance. FIJI will be spitting their best game not to win you over but in an attempt to tear down the FH legacy. Tonight you will see the true character of an FH man. Laying everything down to show ΧΩ his true character and love for hooties while FIJI shotguns every liquid in sight BUT I have a DREAM! That this night will not be simply decided off irrational decision on alcohol but decisions made from the heart. Oh I have a DREAM! That one day FH and ΧΩ will forever be linked throughout destiny. That one day a FIJI will be judged not by whether he is fratty or has money but by his allegiance with ΧΩ. It is the man not with a 4.0, on old row, or drives a lifted truck BUT THE MAN THAT IS LOVED AND CLAIMED BY ΧΩ. Hooties, I leave you with this. God so loved the world that he gave his one and only FarmHouse so that ΧΩ may not perish but haveeternal life. -FH 19:05
Hooties, I have been waiting this moment since 12/8/93 and it will not be wasted.
Yours and always Chi Bro,
So let me get this straight. Farmhouse is a dry frat. Fiji is not. Both frats are going to a combined social with girls. One frat can drink. One can not. Apparently this email is an attempt to level the playing field so to speak? To warn baby hooties not to get shitfaced and fall victim to drunken sexcapes with Fiji. Umm what’s that old expression? Don’t go into a hatchet fight without a hatchet? Well I think that certainly applies here. Rule 1 of getting pussy in greek life. Party harder than the other guy. Writing emails and staying sober is for chumps. Boos and drugs gets you laid. I thought even nerds knew that. These guys must be Jesus freaks or something. Seriously Farmhouse has to be the worst frat in the history of frats. I mean a dry frat? Is that even a real thing?
*booze but it’s not like anyone read your entire post anyway
Boos instead of booze? Fake mistake game needs work, Pres.
Never mind. Leave it to an idiot 19 year old with the most generic username in the world to fall for it.
Come on Pres, this isn’t brobible…this was painful
The worst part about making reference to brobible means you read brobible and therefore lose credibility by default.
just a friendly reminder that the patriots haven’t won a super bowl since they stopped taping opponents’ practices that they weren’t allowed to tape. Apparently (according to some pats fans) every NFL team did this, although nobody has provided the proof. Cowher said that his team illegally taped practices? Please, i’d love a link or even an article. I’m very easy to shut up, but some dumb rant as a comeback to my dumb rant isn’t going to do it.
Dry + Frat does not make any sense to me.
jesus this screams out of touch. stick to smut
FRATS are for the gay’s anyway, people who cant get friends in real life join those, losers
Prez, have you ever made Renee squirt?
So is Bosley hooking you up to get fake surfer hair?
If you are not in a frat, or have never been in a frat, you are a fucking loser. Not even a discussion, just fact. Somebody please find Prez’s Sammy composite pic
http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/story/18935926
I wasnt in a frat, but saying that it is for people who can’t get real friends is ridiculous. Most people’s college friends come from: class, clubs, sports, or nearby dorm mates. A frat is just another channel to meet like minded people with a cause to party hard.
What’s a FIJI and hootie? I couldn’t really understand any of that email.
Boos and drugs? Jesus Christ Portnoy… And honestly, this isn’t the worst blog that’s been written today. Kinda scary..
Oh, and dry frats aren’t frats. Those are called poetry slams.
Even Jesus got wasted with wine… and that is a fact.
Dry Frat? Fucking joke.
Farmhouse sounds like a fucking blast. Eat tubs of mayonnaise, give each other HJ’s to be accepted into a brotherhood that then…doesn’t allow you to drink?
What is a hair pie?
Jesus Christ horsestuffreneesass, I know you’re probably 13 years old and Spygate was a really long time to you, but could you please just do a Google search and figure out what the fuck you’re talking about before posting idiotic rants. Spygate was not about taping practices, it was about taping signals from field level instead of from above. Cowher stated he, along with every other coach in the league, did this. Get a clue.
http://boston.cbslocal.com/2010/12/03/felger-mazz-cowher-on-spygate-ii-patriots-jets/ By the way, here’s a Felger & Mazz interview with Cowher where he admits his team, along with every other team, stole signals. Enjoy.
I went to Auburn…no girls ever party at the farmhouse frat. they hire tons of bands to play to try and lure chicks in but once they get there and realize there’s no booze, they all leave
My fraternity in school was given a choice: go dry, or shut down. We shut down.
Anyone who actually played a sport in college knows frats are for the faggots who want to be on the hockey or football team but sucked, so they pay money to have friends and hang out with like minded douche bags.
FarmHouse believes their debating skills will overcome Fiji’s grain punchbowl.
A lifted truck is a status symbol in the South? My landscaper drives a lifted truck.
I thought the old saying was “never snort coke with a Jew”
That was really bad….thought this was a Neil blog til I got to the bottom.
actually clouds if you need a frat to party in college then you do have the gay.