Reader Email

Below is an email sent to the Chi Omega freshman from a FarmHouse (FH) about their social with them tonight. FH is a dry frat. Please read and thoroughly laugh and make fun of them from now on.

THE EMAIL

Baby Hooties,

Great moments are born from great opportunities. That’s what we have here tonight ladies. Tonight you will decide your alliance. FIJI will be spitting their best game not to win you over but in an attempt to tear down the FH legacy. Tonight you will see the true character of an FH man. Laying everything down to show ΧΩ his true character and love for hooties while FIJI shotguns every liquid in sight BUT I have a DREAM! That this night will not be simply decided off irrational decision on alcohol but decisions made from the heart. Oh I have a DREAM! That one day FH and ΧΩ will forever be linked throughout destiny. That one day a FIJI will be judged not by whether he is fratty or has money but by his allegiance with ΧΩ. It is the man not with a 4.0, on old row, or drives a lifted truck BUT THE MAN THAT IS LOVED AND CLAIMED BY ΧΩ. Hooties, I leave you with this. God so loved the world that he gave his one and only FarmHouse so that ΧΩ may not perish but haveeternal life. -FH 19:05

Hooties, I have been waiting this moment since 12/8/93 and it will not be wasted.

Yours and always Chi Bro,

 

So let me get this straight. Farmhouse is a dry frat. Fiji is not. Both frats are going to a combined social with girls. One frat can drink. One can not. Apparently this email is an attempt to level the playing field so to speak? To warn baby hooties not to get shitfaced and fall victim to drunken sexcapes with Fiji. Umm what’s that old expression? Don’t go into a hatchet fight without a hatchet? Well I think that certainly applies here. Rule 1 of getting pussy in greek life. Party harder than the other guy. Writing emails and staying sober is for chumps. Boos and drugs gets you laid. I thought even nerds knew that. These guys must be Jesus freaks or something. Seriously Farmhouse has to be the worst frat in the history of frats. I mean a dry frat? Is that even a real thing?