Reader Email

Hey Pres,

Ive got a nice hardo/pussification of america story for ya. So last week my friend dared me to jump into a freezing lake through the ice. I told him i wasnt a pussy and that I would cut two holes in the ice, and swim from one to the other. Needless to say, I did it because im not a pussy and want to be a Navy SEAL.

When a couple of my buddies and I tried to get it on the morning announcements at my High School (Westford Academy), administration wouldnt allow it to be done because it was too dangerous apparently. I never endorsed the idea or told anyone to do it. I never glorified it. Im the MVP and captain of the Mens Swim team, which makes me qualified to do it in the eyes of the student body.

Westford Academy is the same place that banned grinding at school dances, and you guys did an article on it a year ago. Westford Academy blows and it would be awesome to see a big figure like you take them down.

Always a stoolie,


I have absolutely no idea how to respond to this. Like this is the biggest hardo email in the history of hardo emails yet the kid called himself out for being a hardo so it’s like he disarmed me before I even could begin. I mean can you really be a hardo and know you’re a hardo? I don’t think so. Hardos never know they are hardos. That’s what makes them so great. But this kid is fucking hardo and a half. That’s what so confusing here. I mean “I’m the MVP and captain of the Mens swim team and want to be a Navy Seal”? Umm what? And how about the fact he wanted the school to announce that he actually did this in the first place? “Attention students..we’d like to congratulate Timothery Edison for swimming underwater.” Who fucking cares hardo? The only thing I can come up with is that deep down he really doesn’t think he’s a hardo even though he’s pretending he is. That’s all I got. I’m sure the comment section will do better.