Reader Email – This Is Why I’d Kill Myself If I Have A Daughter
Reader Email
My buddies brother in law found this in his teenage daughters drawer. Looks like Jon won
No joke. If I found this in my teenage daughters drawer I’m murder her and then kill myself. Luckily though I’ll never have this problem. Not because I won’t have a daughter, but because if I do she’s getting home schooled and not leaving her room till she’s 50. Just can’t risk finding drawing of her classmates dick sizes in her desk. Chicks. Such sluts.
PS – For Tyler’s sake I hope this never gets back to his high school. Total career killer.
I mean, Tyler is still packing a ton of heat, not his problem Jon is Lexington Steele’s son.
replace “Jons” with Pres Nose and it’s still accurate
Tyler has bigger balls though, hope she knows when sucking a dick right, you have to play/suck on them bad boys or it dont count
pencil dicks
Cock renderings are one thing but the lack of apostrophes is killing me.
BD, don’t you know small potatoes just make the steak look bigger? hahaha…
This statistic doesn’t take girth into consideration so Tyler could still end up being a crowd pleaser. Either that or on the DPs with Jon he’ll always have to take the back door.
I’m with you Pres. I would hate to have a daughter, especially once they get to college.
Real question is, who really eats sushi with chopsticks?
how about this…if you have a daughter prez, i’ll murder her vagina with my penis, and then you can still kill yourself. deal?
Good news is you’re old as shit. Even if you had a daughter 9 months from now you’ll probably be dead before she hits her teens.
Why the wait anyway, you shooting blanks?
Pres, what are you like 50 years old now? You better knock up renee soon cuz it’s only a matter of time before you’re firing blanks
Side note, if Pres had a daughter, she would have to be home-schooled and then shipped off to some foreign university where no one knows about the Stool. Because, how awesome would it be to smash El Presidente’s daughter? To watch your man yogurt trickle down her snozz?
This reader email didn’t happen to contain a home address, did it? A town at least?
Gaystoolie wins again.
But what’s their adjusted penis size?
rough nutsack to shaft ratio
gaystoolie never misses out on a good dick etching. get after it, player.
too bad the drawing is on a sticky note.
is that drawn on 8 1/2″ x 11″?
ilovebarstoolsports , sup droski, hope all is well and so true hahah
what maniac dad actually shows that to anybody?
chicks are the worst at eyeing up dick size, a chick once thought i was 10 inches. 10!!!, i would have been happy if she said 5
“Dad, these guys are a joke”
-Tom Brady’s Son
@wilburham you found a girl who sucks at math, shocking
anyone concerned about their dick size, just shove it up the girls pooper. itll feel plenty big
Pres you should probably worry about having autistic kids first. You and your old lady aren’t getting any younger.
Yeah, but Tyler went back door all day and twice on Sunday, turning her in to an ass to mouth slut….
So basically, this is her artist’s rendering of her classmates dicks as based on how big they say their cocks are at lunch.
Tyler’s prob packing 3-4 inches and John might be pushing 6
all your daughters are whores
Prez, who the hell knows what they’re packin! You’ve got no reference point. Include a dollar bill, a quarter, or somthing. Bet John’s balls get dwarfed by that quarter. Fucking amateurs.
i talked to my wife about buying a house boat (small yacht) last night. she can home school all my daughters. she’s thinking about it
i have two. i’m fucked.
She definitely has a future in anime porn.
“PS – For Tyler’s sake I hope this never gets back to his high school.”
Or put up on a popular blog for the entire Northeast to see…but what are the odds of that happening?
If you raise your daughter Jewish, then she can only go out with Jewish guys. As you know, Jewish guys all have small dicks, so what are you worried about?
its like she hit the tab key before she drew tyler’s dick, that makes Jon even more impressive
comment section is brutal today – dying over here
What did Renee say when she found your little sketch of Beibs and Lamberts hogs?
What did Renee say when she found your little sketch of Beibs and Lamberts hogs?
I’m getting my daughter de-vagitized.
if i had a daughter I would pray to god every night and morning that she turned out to be a lesbian
this isnt to scale, that looks like its the back of a business card..
I would be more upset if I was the father knowing that my daughter is hanging around with a black boy like Jon…
Great question. What the fuck are you waiting for, Dave. You’re 36 years old with no kids. You’re shooting blanks, aren’t you?? That’s fucking embarrassing. Renee would have left your jew ass long ago had it not been for those 2 million internet dollars.
Looks like both of you have never heard of an apostrophe.
They forgot to include a dollar bill in this picture
99% chance that Jon is black, 1% chance she calls her dildo “Jon”
Come on Pres, fess up. You found this in the First Lady’s bedside table and “Jon” is code name for Cheesyboy.
What are the chances Pres actually has a child already? Seriously, would he really tell us if he did?? I wouldn’t…
We all know you found that in Neils pocket. Hes such a ho-bag
no superbad reference? come on portnoy
at least she did not draw herself as a chinese finger-trap in the middle of these dongs