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Reader Email – This Letter Is All The Rage At Umass
Reader Email
Pres,
This letter is circulating like rapid fire through umass Amherst? What is this/who does this, real life?
I’ll say this much. Tyler has balls of steel for signing his name to this thing. Big motherfucking brass balls. So I’m not going to make fun of this kid. After all making fun of squids ain’t my style. Instead I’m going to help. He wants to create something.? He doesn’t want to be lazy anymore? He wants to do new things? He wants to do real things? Okay bro. I got something for that ass. Something that if you accomplish will make you an instant legend Something that if you’re successful will have sluts fighting to feed you grapes while other sluts fight to suck your dick. What do you have to do to make this a reality? What do you have to do to make a real difference on Umass social life? Simple. Get us unbanned on campus. Do whatever it takes. Get signatures. Do sit ins. Take the dean hostage. Whatever it takes. Because I promise you this much. If you make this happen people will point at you as you walk down the street and say “there goes Tyler Molander” the best Minuteman there ever was….
I think Tyler’s e-mail will be flooded by days end.
Can someone check this kids dorm for an Uzi? “I want to create things to do on campus” is definitely code for “I’m looking for a partner to mow down all these assholes who won’t let me hang out with them”.
Go get ‘em FB stalkers!
Prez what the fuck is with the turtle neck dress ad you sissy-boy.
a reference to the natural? i’d totally hire someone if he dropped that in a sample blog he sent you.
I sincerely hope someone shows up with a camera and we get to meet Tyler tonight. My god, this could be legendary.
Give him a call!
phone # – 508-345-2671
Ah, wish so bad I was still at UMass. This would be one of those situations where we dare someone to run up to a dude like that in public, crack him one to the skull, and bolt outa there.
He says he doesn’t want to be stupid anymore. Why the hell on earth would he spend time getting your piece of shit establishment unbanned on campus?
I don’t get it… Maybe he should’ve added that second page.
here ya’ go tyler.. http://umassalumni.com/pride/100_things.html
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1824346510
I am going out on a limb here, but my guess is Tyler here does not enjoy the taste of vaginas.
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1046104012556.7105.1824346510&type=3
He is also a founding member of the Silly Walks Club:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=482620485386&v=wall
Maybe the pic should be just a tad bigger? I’m on my iPhone here.
I bet this is UMass’ “Upside Down Club” looking for members. I remember getting in a fight over the phone my freshman year with my then-girlfriend, and threw a chair (and scared the FUCK out of my roommate’s girlfriend…oops, haha) and stormed outside and went for a walk to cool off, which should have been easy since it was like february and i was in a shorts and a t-shirt. Long story short, while I’m walking around campus, some herb rolls up on me and says, “you look like you’re having a bad day” and i kind of just kept going and was like, “i’ll be good, thanks” but dude kept walking with me. he was like a real-life Butters, just way too nice for his own good. he says, “hey, if you’re ever looking to make some new friends, me and my buddies get together every tuesday, thursday, and saturday and hang out at the Blue Wall. We call ourselves the Upside Down Club. We just hang out, have some pizza…..talk about the Bible…” and I was immediately like “get the fuck from ’round me, bro.” I bet those nutjobs are still running loose to this day.
look at the retarded debate on his wall in response to one of his recent status updates (“Pretty sure the emotions of 200 years ago were more real and less sociopathic. Maybe it’s because they didn’t do drugs”). Over 100 comments of bullshit….this kid is a fucking idiot. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1824346510&sk=wall
hey Dro Man – can you tell that story again tomorrow?
wowwwwwwww, this dude belongs to a facebook group called “I’m not obsessed with taylor swift, you’re just ignorant.” Can I change my answer? I think i want to kick it with this kid. Taylor Swift Gang or die.
JEzzus, why all the hate on the kid. Douche-y or not, he obviously is just looking for friends.
Kay Jewlers, that’s your contribution? “Cool story, bro”? Is it illegal to tell relevant personal stories? You act like i was talking about what i did on my summer vacation or something. If it’s too many words and not enough pictures for you, then don’t read. Make better use of your time by, say, eating a dick sandwich or two.
Long story short
Yeah way too late. And your story sucked donkey balls.
Kay Jewelers, if I don’t see you at the feminists march holding duct tape behind a astro van, with a black bag in your hands then you have failed.
Hey Dro Man, was this the kid you and your boys beat into unconsciousness or was that another dude?
Seriously, do you have a reading problem? You clearly don’t like me, given our past encounters, and that’s cool. I mean, we’re on the fucking internet, who cares? But if the best way you can come up with to spend your day is by throwing lame insults at me, you should really re-evalute where your life is at. Have a swell day, chief.
Guys, guys now is the time for unity.
Dudebro….get over it….seriously.
Bahaha, last status update: “please don’t freak out at the friend club or make a scene, we need to show the administration we just want to be friends”. Is it different than when I was at Umass? Does the administration now frown on friendship? If someone doesn’t run up and kick this kid in the dick, the entire night is a failure.
Droman…we get it…you’re a tough guy. What happened next? Did you beat him with a tire iron?
Go away.
@tmolanderTyler Molander
I saved a bird that was stuck in a feeder.
Dro – take a joke bro. Your story was extremely long, so I asked you tell it again tomorrow.
I didnt say it sucked, or you suck, or throwing chairs sucks (because breaking stuff rules).
I didnt realize I didnt like you and dont remember past encounters. I also drink until I black out a lot and lost all brain cells years ago.
Droman just giving us another example of why one should never be nice to anyone else….what a scumbag you are to bash a guy who was being a nice person
I think Dro Man and Sitwell should have a storytelling contest.
umass students should get as fucked up as possible and crash his friendfest.
Pres, I have a feeling Tyler would occupy the stool rather than help you with any sort of reformation
“Get over it” said the guy who told awesome stories about being in college 5 years ago.
Boy, this team comes apart quick. The Stoolies – 25 posts, 25 cabs.
no seriously…this kid is fucking insane and i agree with mannyspooptowel about the uzi comment…if you read the comments/debate going on on this kids wall from jan 17th, youll see this kid has some serious issues…
i thought dro man’s story, though long, was a worthwhile read
I’m no psychiatrist, but glancing at his FB page shows a VERY disturbed young individual. Reading his posts and comments (especially the one with 100+ comments) reminded me an awful lot of the stuff you see come out in the media after the crap like Columbine or VA Tech. Maybe it’s just me, but anyone that takes a few minutes to read what he’s writing might see the same thing – he’s become an outcast, and he’s thriving off of it. He’s got some serious mental issues going on…If anything, this kid should be meeting with a shrink at the school ASAP!
i thought the same thing internet cowboy. i think there’s a real reason to be terrified of this kid or what he might do
You guys really think there is something wrong with this kid? I dont see it.
Tyler Molander No. New areas of the world are not opening up because the ‘beauty’ of the world is locked up within all of us. It can not show itself if we are all looking at ourselves. We must look at and love each other. Sure maybe we have to unlock ourselves, but that myst be achieved in a sane way, not manipulating who we truly are, but by loving. Why would anyone care about being happy? The only reason why is circular. It feels good and seems to work is the only reason. It’s not a good reason. Its also ludicrous to ever reach such a conclusion because conclusions don’t exist (including that one). What is really trying to be said is that we must all get over our own neurosis, but that can not occur if we are self-obsessed, because that is neurotic. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. If their is one man with a fruit and other without one, the one man should share with the other. If he focused on his happiness, the other man would starve and die. No matter what excuse you use, if we think that way, eventually: he will be the only one with the fruit and that is ludicrous, that is FUCKING INSANE. We live in a society. We feel to feel for each other. We talk so we talk to each other. One may say we may never understand anyone but ourselves but that dumb because its not true (that’s merely a cop out), if we believe that: it is true, and we’ll never fully understand ourselves regardless. Every single piece of art or media is a way to communicate our inner most being. If anyone focuses on themselves (or a piece of art for that matter) as opposed to society, they don’t understand how a society works and should get out of it. Anyone can be happy living alone in the woods. I have before. Its fucking stupid. Its pointless. Its living for yourself and leaving everyone in the dust. Not accepting that we have a duty towards society is called being a sociopath and is manipulating society towards your own gains. If thats fine, then that’s fucked. Happiness is a delusion if it is not felt by all members independent of self-medication. We exist to exist for others. Thinking anything besides that is complete bullshit. It’s simple. Anyone can discipline themselves to delude anything within themselves but that is completely stupid and pointless because it doesn’t matter what we can do, it matters what we should do. I CAN kill you, and it CAN make me happy to do so. But I shouldn’t. It’s illogical and irrational to assume happiness is good at all and it’s not if it’s not used for its true purpose. We only think that because it SEEMS to positively effect others. We can’t manipulate such things. We feel sexual pleasure as a reward for a productive task and we feel happy for doing well in society. But we focus on those things. We focus on our dicks besides focusing on the love that our dicks is supposed to communicate. I can be happy if everyone else is not. I shouldn’t. I should help others be happy. Not by telling them to be happy, but by changing the world around me to not be full of bullshit so they can have the freedom to be happy on their own terms. And if one person is not happy, then we have to think again. We can please everyone if we actually TRY to. We have the right to pursue happiness, but who the fuck cares? I’m not going to lie to myself. I’m not going to change who I really am because it’s makes other people feel better in the next 5 seconds. That’s called being neurotic. An unhappy person is alive and real. Squashing who that person is in favor of telling them to be happy is the complete opposite way to attain happiness. I can focus on happiness all my life, but the truth of the matter is that I would be a self obsessed jerk staring into a microscope wondering at one specific thing. Ignoring that I could be feeding my kids. But who gives a fuck? I’m happy. Who gives a fuck if my actions cause others to be unhappy and their happiness depends on them adapting to me forcing themselves to be happy under that influence. That’s just called being a psychopath. And apparently, that’s okay. Everyone knows how to be happy, being happy is obvious. But no one should be concerned with that. People should be concerned with others, it’s called being human. And I’m afraid that species is nearly extinct. Everyone can be happy, but everyone can also not give a shit that their is an iron stake in their eye. If course you can accept it. BUT TAKE THE FUCKING STAKE OUT IF YOUR EYE!!! I’m not going fool myself into being happy if their are problems that need solving and not should you. Because if we all spend one day Ignoring ourselves and focus on other people, we could solve everything in 5 seconds. Really, not shittily. Their are problems because everyone is medicated. It’s time to realize that and stop sitting around in a medicated stupor. Humanity is literally addicted to a feeling and is in denial about it. I feel everything, for myself and for others. Not just narrow minded egotistical bullshit. The only reason why one would not try to feel what I feel is because they would want to remain happy regardless of reality. That is completely and utterly insane.
DoyleBrunson, whether i’m a tough guy or not doesn’t matter, because we’re ON A FUCKING COMPUTER. Also, nothing in my story had anything to do with being a tough guy, so i think you’re working off some past hatred for me. Whatever. Take your short-dick aggression out elsewhere.
Dudebro, what do you care? Just tell me what the fuck you care, that’s all i want to know. I could write something unrelated, like, “haha, that’s hilarious that el pres is posting another blog on how great his hair looks today” or “here we go….another ‘dogs rule, cats suck’ post” and your response will invariably be “…then dro man and his boys beat a guy with a tire iron.” Come up with some new fucking material already. You’re clearly not very smart, bro…
Kay Jewlers, we’re cool, i just get aggravated as fuck with all the pussies here that run off at the gums with no consequence. My bad for jumping at you.
Sinker, you’re actually right. But there’s nothing i find more offensive than a bible-thumper. It’s fight or flight at that point. And to the surprise of my fan club here, i flew.
Anybody else have some shit to air out? Or can we just talk about this lame that wants to start a friend club now?
Maybe the Stoolies can do some good here.
Clearly this kid, even if he’s not a ticking time bomb, needs some help. Should this be forwarded to an administrator at UMASS or something?
Someone call the police for real, do not fuck with this kid. Not sarcasm at all but, I’ve seen Criminal Minds enough to know this kid is a fucking school shooter in the making.
hey dro man, can me and you start a friend club together?
Kay, nice story, think you could double post? Daily?
Can’t we all just get along?
If anyone read that, it’s like a manifesto of a sociopath. Ted Bundy goes to fucking UMASS.
i don’t think so, man…only cuz i know what an alabama hot pocket is, and that’s just foul…
classic example of a common asshole thinking he’s the reincarnation of plato.
@nyc560 & internet cowboy, I said that before I even watched the video he posted on January 18th. Just a haunting 6 seconds of him wearing a paper mask that says “sociopath”. Yep, this kid’s gonna be famous some day.
now I want a sub from the Blue Wall. Damn, I miss Umass
I could make another crack about a tire iron, but I’m afraid of getting hit with a tire iron.
looks like this kid if one of his close friends: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=767543833 he too looks like a ticking time bomb.
This kid’s a mad big faggot. If no one shows up drunk or stoned I”ll lose all respect for Umass.
This kid is fucking insane. He stopped going to classes to figure out how to make people stop drinking? What a fucking idiot.
I agree with NOT fucking with this kid, he’s about as insecure as droman is.
That kid is literally psychotic – he sounds like Holden Caulfield.
Hey, Dro_Man, fuck off already.
Anyone else laughing at the sweet juxtaposition of posts between Molander and Dro Man? Two sociopaths posting back-to-back. Couple of fucking long-winded dummies
All I could make out of this letter was: “Im gay”
After reading that 100+ comment thread on facebook anybody on UMass campus GET THIS KID SOME HELP! Like legit, this kid is definitely going to do something crazy and that guy Justus is fucked in the head. I’m not being sarcastic, like after reading that its scary to think how people can actually think that way. Seriously, someone get that kid help
its events like this that females get accosted on the Umass campus
http://soundcloud.com/the-promusitist/high-grade-bail-beef-and-sail
sounds to me like this kid just matured way too early, its college bro, you can explore and create in a few years, for now its time to rage
this kid definitely tucks it back and dances in the mirror to “goodbye horses”
but in all seriousness someone needs to get him some help – he’s got mass murderer written all over him
Pres u should be happy ur banned from the zoo. I wouldn’t wanna be on campus knowing this psycho could snap at ne second
cheeseman, seriously? i’m a sociopath now? are you a shrink? is that an official diagnosis? fuck outta here…. also, you’re throwing a lot a big words at me. now since i don’t understand them, i’ma take them as DISRESPECT!
can someone please get biscodiscuits a dick salad sandwich already?
The irony of Dro Man’s insecurities coming out in this comment section better not be missed.
meriweather, i have plenty of insecurities, who doesn’t? we’re all human. but what kind of insecurities do other people have that makes them talk wild shit at someone when it can’t be physically backed up, which is what really matters in life. i’ve put my home fucking address on here before. no one ever shows up and says this shit like a man. i can’t stand that pussy shit where people talk shit from a safe distance. and then when i get mad about it, people act like it’s me that’s being the internet tough guy. fuck that shit.
If this kid doesnt live in suicide sylvan I would be shocked.
I go to UMASS and just read the 100+ comment exchange on his status. I’M FUCKING GLAD I’M NOT AT THE BLUE WALL RIGHT NOW. But seriously Pres, forward this to someone in the UMASS administration. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone; help this kid out and get unbanned from UMASS.
yo dro man you think you can tell another story.
i’m not biting, broseph
STRO… EXACTLY.
whatever dro man……. internet tough guy
@betheljohnsonshands you seriously have the time to read all those fucking posts? Lets get betheljohnson some help ova here
mad broseph, i’d love to fuck around, but i just got out of work, so i have to go carry on with life. i assume you’ll be right here being an internet sean avery, right?
We shall meet our own demise at the hands of our own happiness. Those hands are red with the blood of the innocent. With the blood that we ignore all our lives. Because we don’t feel like thinking about it. We never feel like it. I just don’t feel like it.
I want to be happy. 
Me being happy means that I beat my friends with an crowbar. 
It doesn’t hurt them because I don’t think it does. 
SSHHHHHH! 
Don’t tell anyone. ;D
One of the notes from his facebook. its just he first paragraph, its mad long.
Try nailing a chick instead of your roommate in the balloon knot. Bang there is something new for you. Something tells me Tyler does not do well with the ladies.
yea dro man did i mention i have a life too bro…. come at me bro
I wish El Pres could’ve…
God I love UMass.
i need to get the fuck out of umass
Got back from my classes today and found an envelope with a smiley face on it and this letter inside. wtf.
Maybe someone already said this to many comments to read but… If you are acquainted with me please don’t come trust me? Isn’t that what the Columbine kids said to the people they liked on the day they shot up the school about showing up that day? Fucking bizzare
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The kid obviously was more mature than his peers, as well as the majority of Stool readers. He consciously examined his social environment, identified the problems within it, and attempted to organize people in order to implement a change. The reason he didn’t want people that knew him already to come is because he wanted to awaken the minds of his obviously clueless colleagues with some real insight. The poor kid just wanted to make a change in the world – it’s sad that you’re all so terrified of difference that the minute you’re faced with it, you write it off with instability. Don’t for one second think society has transcended beyond the bigotry of race difference, you’re all bigots the same.
-Bender the Crime.
The kid obviously was more mature than his peers, as well as the majority of Stool readers. He consciously examined his social environment, identified the problems within it, and attempted to organize people in order to implement a change. The reason he didn’t want people that knew him already to come is because he wanted to awaken the minds of his obviously clueless colleagues with some real insight. The poor kid just wanted to make a change in the world – it’s sad that you’re all so terrified of difference that the minute you’re faced with it, you write it off with instability. Don’t for one second think society has transcended beyond the bigotry of race difference, you’re all bigots the same. -Bender the Crime.
I have the weirdest boner right now….
half srs
totally srs
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