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Pres,

This letter is circulating like rapid fire through umass Amherst? What is this/who does this, real life?


I’ll say this much. Tyler has balls of steel for signing his name to this thing.  Big motherfucking brass balls.   So I’m not going to make fun of this kid. After all making fun of squids ain’t my style. Instead I’m going to help.  He wants to create something.?   He doesn’t want to be lazy anymore?   He wants to do new things?  He wants to do real things?   Okay bro.   I got something for that ass.   Something that if  you accomplish will make you an instant legend    Something that if you’re successful will have sluts fighting to feed you grapes while other sluts fight to suck your dick.  What do you have to do to make this a reality?  What do you have to do to make a real difference on Umass social life?   Simple.  Get us unbanned on campus.     Do whatever it takes.  Get signatures.  Do sit ins.  Take the dean hostage.    Whatever it takes.    Because I promise you this much.   If you make this happen people will point at you as you walk down the street and say “there goes Tyler Molander” the best Minuteman there ever was….