(Sun) — Mutual friend Reese Witherspoon apparently put the pair in touch when Leo expressed concern for the heartbroken younger star, who has often been compared to him. And now Leo, 37, has offered Rob a chance to forget his troubles – by taking him to Puerto Rico. A source told US gossip site Showbiz Spy: “Leo has been one of Rob’s role models for years, and Rob was totally taken by surprise when Leo called him. “He invited Rob along on a getaway he’s planning when he’s in Puerto Rico for the wrap party on the movie he’s producing, Runner, Runner.” According to the source, Leo feels protective of Rob because he has followed his career since the comparisons between the two were first made. The source added: “Leo wants to book a mansion at a secret location on the coast so he and his pals can party in private. “He’s kept an eye on Rob’s career ever since people started calling him the next Leonardo DiCaprio.”

No guy has ever gotten a better deal than Robert Pattinson has in the last few weeks. When most normal dudes break up they just hope their girlfriend doesn’t go on a tear and fuck a bunch of big dicked dudes with tons of money. Like best case scenario is she doesn’t fuck anyone hotter than you. But Pattinson made the trade of the century. His ugly girlfriend fucked a creepy old guy and now the entire world hates her and loves him. Everybody is buying shirts that say “K. Stew is a Trampire.” Meanwhile he gains admittance into the Pussy Posse, goes on talk shows and plays the “I don’t want to talk about it” card, then jet sets to Puerto Rico with Leonardo Dicaprio to pick up more sympathy snatch than he can handle. It’s such a perfect scheme that no one even notices you’re a pale British dude with shitty teeth and hair like a dickhead.

Although I wouldn’t totally rule it out that this is a plot for Leo to kill Robert Pattinson for being called “the next Leonardo DiCaprio.” There can only be one Highlander.