Samoa РA pair of police officers in American Samoa are facing charges of sending jail inmates on shopping trips and beer runs unsupervised. Officers Fiti Aina and Rocky Tua made their initial court appearance Tuesday morning in District Court on charges of aiding the escape of a prisoner, permitting escape and public servant acceding to corruption, Samoa News reported Wednesday. Prosecutors said investigators made a surprise visit to the Tafuna Correctional Facility July 20 and discovered an alcoholic beverage in one of the cells. The investigators determined jail inmates were being sent unaccompanied to a local store to buy beer and other items for the officers and their fellow inmates.

Nobody likes leaving the party to go on a beer run. It sucks. You have to leave all the fun, more than likely someone gave you the “I’ll pay you when you get back” line and you know you’ll never see that money, and there’s always that one person who’s like “You got fucking Bud heavies!? What the fuck dude?” or something similar. You’re doing all the work for a bunch of other people to just take your goods, not pay you for them, and complain when it takes you twenty minutes instead of the ten you said it would. No fun.

If I had some prisoners under my control then you bet I’d be sending them on beer and grocery runs at least twice a day. Probably more. You’re my fucking prisoner dude, I’m the alpha male here. Go buy me booze. It’s a no brainer and I can’t believe it took the American correctional system this long to figure out that inmates are the perfect alcohol mules. And don’t give me that shit about how they might not have come back. Woulda been their funeral on that one. You’ve never seen anyone turn into a bounty hunter quicker than when their booze goes missing. These cops would have hunted them down faster than you can say solitary confinement. Because if there’s one person who needs swift and brutal justice brought down on their head, it’s the asshole who didn’t deliver with the kegs.