(NPR) -- There’s fresh evidence that cats can be a threat to your mental health. To be fair, it’s not kitties themselves that are the problem, but a parasite they carry called Toxoplasma gondii. A study of more than 45,000 Danish women found that those infected with this feline parasite were 1.5 times more likely to attempt suicide than women who weren’t infected. That’s not a huge increase, but it’s probably too big to have been caused by chance, says Teodor Postolache, a University of Maryland psychiatrist and senior author of the paper, which was published in the Archives of General Psychiatry. Still, the absolute risk of suicide remains very small. Fewer than 1,000 of the women attempted any sort of self-directed violence during the 30-year study span. And just seven committed suicide.
Probably the least surprising study of all time. Anyone who knows somebody with a cat could have told you this. Just the saddest group of people on the planet. Waiting on their slave master pets who withhold any affection whatsoever. Drowning them in PurinaONE hoping to get a tiny purr of delight out of them. Of course the cat doesn’t give a shit and just walks around shoving it’s asshole in everybody’s face. It’s depressing as all fuck. Like people buy cats hoping for a taste of Toxoplasma gondii because they don’t even have the balls to hang themselves on their own.