LONDON (AP) — When it comes to mating, guppies treasure their ugly friends – because they look so good by comparison. An article published Wednesday by Britain’s Royal Society says that male guppies prefer to associate with their drab-colored counterparts when females are around. “Males actively choose the social context that maximizes their relative attractiveness,” the article said. Or, as lead author Clelia Gasparini put it, “If you are surrounded by ugly friends, you look better.”"As a researcher I cannot compare human mating systems with the guppy’s one,” she said. “But if you ask me as a person, sure … I saw this tactic working pretty well with humans. “If you want to impress someone, do you think you will look more attractive in comparison with Mr. Bean or George Clooney?”

Fucking scientists. Think they have it all figured out don’t they. Listen I don’t know what guppies do but they got it all wrong for guys. Hanging around with dorks at a bar does not help get you laid. It brings you down. Makes you seem like a squid. Like you’re much better off being the ugliest dude in a great looking group of guys than the best looking guy in an ugly group. You get instant street cred if you hang out with cool guys. Chicks will overlook the fact you’re gross looking. Sure you may not land the best looking broad but there will be plenty of overflow. But if you’re chilling with the band club no hot chick worth her salt wants to be part of that.

Now I will admit this “guppy effect” definitely works for girls. They always love hanging around with fatties to make themselves look hotter. Because dudes don’t give a fuck. They’ll swim through a mile of fat to hook up with the one good looking girl. If anything it encourages guys to hit on them. Like when I see a hot girl with a fat herd I just assume she has low self esteem and doesn’t have the confidence to hang out with hot chicks which is exactly what I’m looking for.