myspacechicktilatequilainbikini2

 

TMZ - TMZ has learned Vivid Entertainment obtained footage of Tila recently banging on camera … and they plan to release the video just in time for Christmas. Stocking stuffers, anyone? We saw the footage — calling it “hardcore” is an understatement … especially compared to her last tape, which was an all-girl affair.

 

Let me rephrase this question. Obviously everybody is gonna watch, but are you excited for it? I am. I guess it has something to do with me loving Asian chicks? Sure she’s a nazi sympathizer and yesterdays news, but I’m still pretty excited. I kind of can’t believe it took this long for it to happen. I mean how old is Tila Tequila?  She got famous on Myspace.  She got choked out by Shawn Merriman when Shawn Merriman was relevant. That’s old.  So the wait better be worth it. Anyway this obviously begs the question of if you could see any celebrity do porn who would it be. So for the 3rd time in the History of Barstool Sports Here is My Current top 10 porn wish list

10. TSwift

taylor-swift-birthday-december-13-2012-dancing-pictures-wonderland

This has nothing to do with sex appeal.  This is pure cuiousity here. Not overly attracted to her. I’m just curious how she fucks. I’m guessing she’s a big time wet blanket. Missionary with no movement. No talking. Lights off and then she writes a song about it. Still I just like it’s something I need to see though.  Kind of like how everybody should go to the Smithsonian at least once.

9. Erin Andrews

130225ErinAndrews1_300x206

Just sack up and get it over with already EA. We’ve seen you naked. We’ve seen you get nasty on Dancing With the Stars. Eventually the sex tape is coming. You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it. Let’s just get this shit over with.

8. Olivia Munn

BdmEq

NnCM5

BVwfb

 

Remember that Seinfeld episode when Elaine leaves the raunchy message for Jerry and then George, Kramer and Jerry all fall in love with her. That’s how I felt when Olivia Munn left all those nasty texts about how she wants to be tied up and analed and shit. Need it. Got to have it.

7. Jenna Marbles

marblesss

I don’t care how rich, famous and internet powerful somebody is. If you’ve seen them take a cum shot to the eye that’s the great equalizer.

6 Blake Lively

blake

Pure unadulterated sex appeal. Like when she plays a slut like she did in Savages or The Town it doesn’t feel like acting. It’s her being her.   Huge turn on.

5. Rihanna

rihanna-carnival-6

I’ve said it once I’ll say it again. Rihanna does shit in the rack that you didn’t even know existed. Like I wouldn’t even blink if she just sawed a bro’s dick off and then fucked the cut off dick while the other dude just lays there bleeding.

4 Boom Boom

boonmboom

We see her everyday during Red Sox season. You can’t help but wonder at least 3 or 4 times per game how she is in bed. It’s only natural. Like the #4 spot on this list always rotates between the Sox sideline reporter. In 2006 it was Hazel Mae at #4. In 2010 it was Heidi Watney. In 2013 it’s Boom Boom.

3. Selena

Selena Gomez

So fucking hot. And if we’re lucky you know who will be the one putting the stick to her. Biebs just treating her like a rag doll. Who wouldn’t want to see that?

2. Candice

candice-swanepoel-bikini-picture

I’m not even sure I’d jerk off to this. It would be more like staring at art in a museum. Not so much sexual as it is just beautiful.

1. Scarjo

scarlett-johansson-body-measurements

 

For my money still the sexiest woman on the planet. Maybe not the hottest but the sexiest. Her entire existence is Rape Culture City.