Somalian Pirates Are Remarkably Polite
This is the nicest letter ever that essentially says, “If you don’t do as we say and give us all your stuff we will kill your crew and sink your ship.” I’ve written thank you notes that didn’t have this kind of genuine care and emotion in them. Sure I’d prefer my pirate letters to have a little more salty slang in there. Maybe a few “mateys” followed by mention of the plank. But when you’re trying to run a business it’s best to be a little more formal. Whether you’re trying to acquire a competitor or take back the Black Pearl you need to get everything on paper. Jamal’s Pirate Action Group isn’t going to become a Fortune 100 company by skirting on the paper work.
The letter should say PS: Please don’t call the Navy SEALs on us!
Great, Pres must be off trying to make more foam deals, so we get the B team all afternoon.
Pres you should definitely hire this guy. His grammar and written skills are definitely on par with most of you and your other bloggers.
This grammar strongly suggests it was plagerized from a Barstool inter-office memo. You can’t even trust a Somali pirate these days.
Good job Feits that was funny
I like the “congratulation” bit at the top. Nice touch.
This blog had a lot of potential. You could have killed. Jamal literally but one bullet in the gun and handed it to you and you shot yourself in the foot. No mention of the Jolly Roger stamp of authentication? Didn’t even talk about the fact that the name of the organization is Jamal’s Good Time Party Pirate Action Group Have Fun. Or how about the subject says “Congrats Bro for getting your shit stole.” Like he didn’t just hop in the Cash Cab, he got robbed. I’m not mad, just disappointed. D-.
Jamal stole this template from Jesse J’s Rainbow Push. Same shit different continent.
Histpres, one gun in the bullet?
Meant to say, u mean one gun in the bullet right?
What am I missing with this whole Somali pirate thing…..a row boat full of 60 lb black dudes armed with starter pistols and super soakers SHOULD be pretty to take out, shouldn’t it?
‘pretty easy’
I hope to god Jamal and his crew of scalleynigs goes and hijacks the Sea Shepard and makes Paul Watson and his crew of faggots whale chum
“Jamal’s Pirate Action Group” — looks like a found a name for my fantasy football team this season.