According to Twitter practically everybody was watching “Southie Rules” last night, the new “reality” show on A&E. Has to be the fakest reality television program. And I don’t mean that in the sense like Jersey pussies got worked up about Jersey Shore saying it was giving them a bad name, I mean just bad, scripted television. I’m not a child. I don’t think Santa, the Easter Bunny, or Kim Kardashian’s tears are real. I understand all reality TV is scripted. But Southie Rules is so bad that I think the actors are reading their cue cards from behind the camera for the first time ever.

A&E has to be trolling. Admittedly, people from Boston are pretty easily riled up and that goes tenfold for Southie folk. But whoever decided this was a good idea went WAY over the top. Let’s ride bicycles to deliver trays of meatballs but whoops we fell and let’s have a meatball fight now! Then Jon decides to strip for a bachelorette party and, wouldn’t ya know it, his mom walks in the door just as he takes his pants off! Or how about the super important yuppie mommy meeting? As soon as you turn the TV on porn is playing! Such bad luck considering people watch tons of porn on their televisions these days. The whole thing is just epically awful. And not in the sense of most reality TV where it’s a train wreck that you can’t look away from, but more in the sense that it’s acting typically reserved for high school home videos. As awkward and itchy as television gets.

PS – why does Devin have subtitles? Sounds exactly like everyone else in the show.

PPS – I think Jenn’s career path came down to choosing between Casting Couch or Southie Rules. She made the wrong choice.