Renowned physicist Stephen Hawking is somewhat of a regular at a Devore, California sex club, is exclusively reporting. According to a source who has been a member of Freedom Acres swingers club for nearly half a decade, Hawking, 70, shows up to the club with a bevy of nurses and assistants and has naked woman grind on him.  “I have seen Stephen Hawking at the club more than a handful of times,” the source revealed. “He arrives with an entourage of nurses and assistants. Last time I saw him he was in the back ‘play area’ laying on a bed fully clothed with two naked women gyrating all over him.”

Anyone who’s surprised to find out Stephen Hawking likes to hang out in nudie bars doesn’t know the first damn thing about how a man’s mind works.  Even the most brilliant minds, from physicists to cosmologists to Nobel Laureates to sports bloggers, needs to stare at the hot, naked female form on the regular.  Sometimes it’s the only thing that will recharge the mental batteries so great thinkers can get back to solving the mysteries of the universe.  I wouldn’t be shocked to hear Hawking came up with String Theory while looking at a G-string.  Or that an old stripper inspired his work on Gravitational Singularities. What better place than a strip club to come up with the idea or wormholes?  And I shouldn’t have to tell you where his mathematical proof of John Wheeler‘s No Hair Theorem came from. Then again, maybe he just goes to these places to study Black Holes.

But the point is, don’t let anyone think just because Stephen Hawking likes to watch teenage runaways and single moms work the pole that he’s some kind of degenerate.  All this proves is my theorem: It doesn’t matter how brilliant, accomplished and educated a guy is, a man’s not really a man unless he’s got some Al Bundy in him.  @JerryThornton1