I got news for you Mr. Portnoy, you haven’t heard the last of me. You may think I’m shit now, but someday you’re gonna be sorry you cut me. I’m gonna catch on somewhere else and every time that I blog against you I’m gonna stick it up you’re fuckin’ ass!


So as lots of people probably already saw yesterday, Jenna blogged about the possible demise of Stoollala.com.   Yup it’s true we had this conversation last Friday.   You probably don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out what my rationale is, but I’ll say it anyways.   Facts are it’s been six months and still no blowjob from her.  You do the math.   I mean my dick isn’t going to suck itself.    Seriously what’s the point of having hot chicks in the office if they won’t give you head? Plus I basically said I was dying to fuck Kim and that hasn’t happened yet either.   At some point enough is enough.

No seriously I actually think Jenna has done a great job writing Stoollala.   I really do.  Like I’m not just licking her cunt when I say she’s a one in a million chick.   There just aren’t too many funny, hot chicks out there who can write, but she is one of them..  Unfortunately though the traffic is almost the same today as it was when we launched.   Don’t get me wrong it had decent traffic, but just not enough to really make any money from.  Or at least I can’t figure out how to do it or really do anything differently with it.  Bottom line is that Boston and NY continue to grow.   Stoollala hasn’t.   And my gut tells me it’s not going to grow anytime soon.   I feel like it is stuck in a rut.  Like a year from now we’d be in the same place with it.

All of this is fine and dandy if the Sales guy would sell more shit or I had a Jewish money tree growing in my office, but I don’t.   And unfortunately Stoollala isn’t core to my Barstool vision.  It never has been.  Jenna and I have known this from Day 1.  It still is and always has been about opening new cities.   We got Philly launching on Feb 21 and then hopefully Chicago after that.    I need to hire another guy for Boston so I don’t die.     That’s the core of whether we’re going to make it or not.  That’s my first priority.   Naturally with opening new cities payroll expenses continue to add the fuck up and I was starting to get into a squirmy position on whether I could afford to hire more guys for new  cities.

Now having said all that I was and still am prepared to hold out as long as I can with Stoollala because I really do think Jenna is super talented and maybe something would click with the bitches. But the thing that has pushed this to the breaking point and forced me to have “the conversation” with her is Barstool U.   Basically that website is like a rudderless ship right now.   No full time editor to watch over it, which was actually the plan in the beginning.   I wasn’t going to pay anybody because just like with Stoollala, Barstool U isn’t core to the overall vision.  Like if it works great.  If it doesn’t no harm no foul.   The thing is though that Barstool U launched pretty big.   I don’t want to say it dwarfed the size of Stoollala but it pretty much did. Everything from traffic, to facebook friends, to inbound email etc.   So the situation I have on my hands is this.  I have a great site being run by a hot chick without that much traffic relatively speaking and not growing at all vs Barstool U which is big and has shitty writing so far because nobody is in charge.   This doesn’t sit well with me.   I feel like I’d be an idiot not to give Barstool U a fair shake based on the numbers and have decided I need to find a full time editor for it.    Unfortunately I don’t think I can afford to have full time editors for both Stoollala and Barstool U and still get the guys I need for Barstool Sports city expansion.  So there you have it.  That is the situation and why I had the conversation on Friday.

Now this doesn’t necessarily mean Stoollala is over or Jenna’s run with the Stool is over.   Just means more than likely I’m not going to be paying her  to run it anymore unless it springs to life soon.   But if she wants to keep it going I told her I’d fucking give her the site.   If she can figure out how to make bizillions off it than god bless her.  If she wants to trash it that’s cool too.  There is also still a slim chance I may switch her over to be the editor at the U, but to be honest I’m not sure that’s the right fit either.   That may be like fitting a square peg through a round hole.  Granted it would be the easiest solution for me but I just don’t know if that makes sense.  Another possible scenario that has been thrown around is moving Kmarko to  Barstool U and bringing back Manzo from the dead for NYC.  (GASP)   Long story short there are lots of balls in the air right now, but I’m definitely looking at this whole thing from a business perspective.   It’s the hardest choice I’ve had to make since I started the company.   But as much as I love Jenna and as much as I dreaded having this conversation with her I feel like I gave Stoollala a fair chance and in my heart I know it’s the right move.   And that’s what being the boss is all about.    Making the decisions other people don’t want to make.   Especially in this fucking Internet field where if you sit on your fucking hands you die.   Things move fast.  Pres has to move faster.

PS – I’m pretty sure Jenna agreed with my rationale on this whole thing, but who knows?   Sometimes I suck at chicks.