(U.Wash) Married men and women who divide household chores in traditional ways report having more sex than couples who share so-called men’s and women’s work, according to a new study co-authored by sociologists at the University of Washington. Other studies have found that husbands got more sex if they did more housework, implying that sex was in exchange for housework. But those studies did not factor in what types of chores the husbands were doing. The new study, published in the February issue of the journal American Sociological Review, shows that sex isn’t a bargaining chip. Instead, sex is linked to what types of chores each spouse completes. Couples who follow traditional gender roles around the house – wives doing the cooking, cleaning and shopping; men doing yard work, paying bills and auto maintenance – reported greater sexual frequency.

Stories like this must really pinch feminists right in the clit. They can chant and cheer and protest for equality all they want but at the end of the day that’s not what normal women want. They don’t want men who wear rubber yellow gloves and clean grout with toothbrushes. They don’t want men who know how to butane some Creme Brulee or ones who know exactly when JC Penny’s annual warehouse sale is. That doesn’t get them off. They want men who pay the bills, drink beer, watch football and maybe ride a lawn mower every once in a while. That’s what gets chicks wet. They want to fuck manly men. That’s why no one will ever take feminists seriously and that’s why I’ll never get laid.