HuffPo If you just can’t ever get your hair to look right, take heart: At least you’re less likely to be a psychopath. A study led by Nicholas Holtzman and Michael Strube at Washington University in St. Louis found that people with personality traits known as the “Dark Triad” — narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy — were better than others at using clothing, makeup and hairstyles to make themselves look attractive, Scientific American reported Tuesday. Psychopathy is characterized by varying blends of certain personality traits, which may include egocentricity, manipulativeness, superficial charm, high stress tolerance, lack of fear, lack of empathy and lack of guilt or remorse.

I intended to write this about chicks. Focus on how everyone loves to fuck crazy broads because they’re hot and freaks and all that jazz. But after thinking on this a little bit I’m sure it’s more applicable to me. I’m a psychopath. I’m awesome at using clothing and hairstyles to make myself look attractive. Narcissistic as all fuck. I couldn’t be less concerned with what’s on the inside as long as my jeans are cuffed in the right place.

I guess that’s what us psychopaths do? We focus our attention and make the outside look as good as possible to cover up our inside? Makes sense. I could beer bong a bottle of Clorox and my insides would still be in a greater state of dirty disrepair than the Gaza Strip. But as long as my sweater and puffy vest are popping then who gives a fuck, right? You guys can all focus on shit like sanity and dopamine levels, I’ll be the crazy cat in the corner with a sweet get-up that all the ladies flock to. The Mean Girls were crazy bitches but they were also the hottest chicks in school. I’ll take that and a stay in the psych ward over a healthy lifestyle every day of the week.

PS – I really hate myself for using a How I Met Your Mother pic but it is applicable.