The Best Story You’ll Read Today: Old School Texas Cowboy Knocks Out Intruder Half His Age And Restores My Faith In America
LEAGUE CITY, Texas — Ervin Brittnacher and his dog Red seem friendly enough. But anytime anybody approaches their farmhouse. Red barks so loudly you can hear it all the way out in the road. So when Red started barking early Monday morning, Ervin figured something was wrong. Ervin stumbled out of bed toward the front door, where he found a gunman carrying a rifle and trying to break into his house. “I figured there’s a whole lot of ways I can do this,” said Brittnacher. “And I don’t want to shoot him.” And yes, he could’ve easily shot the intruder. The 79-year-old keeps rifles propped next to his doors to scare away coyotes. Old photographs hanging on his walls show him riding bulls and certificates deem him a member of the Texas Cowboy Hall of Fame. So he hit the guy. Hard. Right in the throat, like a karate chop.“I just took that old hand and give him a good old chop,” he said. “And normally, that really hurts bad.“And then, if you take the fist and punch him right in between one of these ribs coming apart, that makes all this go up and you can’t even think good for a good while,” “I’m just surprised the guy’s not dead,” said Barbara Black, a friend of the retired cowboy. “I figured he would hurt him worse,” said his son, Mark. “He’s not someone to mess with. Nicest man you’d ever want to meet. Do anything for you. But you don’t want to cross him, push him around. He ain’t going to put up with that.”
I want to email stories like these to the Middle East, North Korea, China, Russia and every other enemy of this country. Like yeah we’re getting softer as a Nation. Sure we have lots of Pussification of America stories lately. But you know what else we still have? Old school cowboys like Ervin Brittnacher living in Texas with their dog Red ready to shoot you, knock you out and just generally kick your ass if you cross them. All Ervin’s friends and relatives not even batting an eyelash when they heard this story. Just shrugging their shoulders and being like “I’m surprised he didn’t kill the guy.” As long as old timers like these exist I can still sleep soundly at night. Ervin Brittnacher. A true American hero.