Almost every one of these stats surprises the shit out of me, but here are the 5 most surprising

1. 65% of women have pubes – What are we talking about here? Like 65% of women have some hair, or 65% of women have a bush? Because I don’t care about hair, in fact I encourage some. I’ll take a landing strip or a triangle over totally bald, but don’t have a bush. Just make an effort and make sure it’s not on your lips or your asshole and we’re good.

 

2. 75% of men cum in less than 3 minutes – THREE minutes? I always joke about how bad I am at sex (and I’m serious, I’m awful). But this is outrageous. If you cum in less than 180 seconds then that’s not even sex.

 

3. 40% of women have tried anal – This seems insanely high. Statistics say almost half the girls I’ve had sex with have done anal? Then why did I need to sell my soul to even get just the tip in once for one second? Numbers don’t add up.

 

4. 20% of women have had a threesome – So you’re saying there’s a 1 in 5 chance that the future mother of my children has had a dick in her ass and her pussy? Fuck my life.

 

5. 40% have tried bondage – Again, really fucking high if you ask me. If pink fluffy handcuffs count as light bondage then this makes sense, but I don’t think it does. Light bondage needs to have at least a paddle or a whip or a gag. 40% of women treat the bedroom like a kink.com set? C’mon.

 

 

PS – Really could have done without this image.

Screen shot 2013-07-30 at 11.07.56 AM