So obviously there’s a murdering lunatic on the loose in LA right now, terrorizing the place. All in all it seems like a really awful situation. Apparently people are being warned to not drive pick up trucks and shit? I don’t even really know what that means. I guess this guy hates illegal immigrant laborers or something? But, you have to admit when some shit is funny. Like it kills me to say it because this guy is obviously a dickhead, but I’m legit lol’ing at his manifesto. For example:

Todd Phillips, don’t make anymore Hangovers after the third, takes away the originality of its foundation.

Larry David, I agree. 72-82 degrees is way to hot in a residence. 68 degrees is perfect.

Charlie Sheen, you’re effin awesome

Gov. Chris Christie. What can I say? You’re the only person I would like to see in the White House in 2016 other than Hillary. You’re America’s no shit taking uncle. Do one thing for your wife, kids, and supporters. Start walking at night and eat a little less, not a lot less, just a little. We want to see you around for a long time. Your leadership is greatly needed.

Ellen Degeneres, continue your excellent contribution to entertaining America and bringing the human factor to entertainment. You changed the perception of your gay community and how we as Americans view the LGBT community.

Christopher Walz, you impressed me in Inglorious Basterds. After viewing Django Unchained, I was sold.

Tebow, I really wanted to see you take charge of an offense again and the game. You are not a good QB by todays standards, but you are a great football player who knows how to lead a team and WIN. You will be “Tebowing” when you reach your next team. I have faith in you. Get out of that circus they call the Jets and away from the reality TV star, Rex Ryan, and Mark Rapist Sanchez.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! I can’t make sense of it, guys. It makes no sense! But it’s nice to be able to level with the guy and see on some plain we are similar. Like yea it looks like we disagree a bit when it comes to murder and being an overall piece of shit. But, we’re not totally different people. 68 degrees is perfect room temp, they should have only done one Hangover, Christopher Walz is a great actor and Tebow needs to get the hell away from TV star Ryan and Rapist Sanchez. It’s called common ground and it appears Chris Dorner and I have found it.

PS – Giving Chris Christie health advice while you’re on the LAM for murder is maybe the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.