The KC Chiefs Ineptitude Explained: Eric Berry is Terrified of Horses
How is it possible that the Patriots West could be so bad? How could your GM be Bill Belichick’s old personnel guy, your head coach be his old defensive coordinator and your QB be his old backup QB he won 11 games with and still you’re the worst team in football? This is how. You use the 5th pick in the draft to take a guy who’s terrified of horses, then you have a horse run around the field all day. As George Halas used to say, here’s no faster way to the bottom of the standings than having one of your franchise players be petrified of your own mascot.
Full disclosure: When Berry came out three years ago, every drafnik in the country had the Chiefs taking him, but I called bullshit. I came on here and said there is no way Scott Pioli uses a No. 5 pick to take a guy at a position where not even the elite players can make it through a 16 game season. In the modern NFL, safeties are an injury waiting to happen and it goes against everything Belichick taught him to take one that high. And naturally I was dead wrong. And Berry had a great rookie season. Well after getting IR’ed his second year and now we find out he’s got a bizarre, irrational case of Mascotophobia, who’s wrong now? You can’t ask a guy to function when he’s got an insane fear of something that’s constantly running around the place. This is the football equivalent of Dave Portnoy giving me a desk in the Barstool office and hiring a clown to run around the place. I’d be so frozen with terror I’d write like Rick Reilly. When it comes to the NFL Draft, it looks like I’m right even when I’m wrong. @JerryThornton1
I’d be so frozen with terror I’d write like Rick Reilly.
You could only hope
the only thing I am afraid of is Neil’s blogging
afraid of horses but i bet his wife is a fat white cow
Funny how black guys are never afraid of fat ugly white girls. I’m looking at you Subway boy current record 3-5
No fear of Hippos there…
Fat ugly white girls — every black man’s kryptonite — CHANGE THE COLOR of the HORSE!!!!!!!!!! STAT.
See I’m like regular fucking NFL Sherlock Holmes — that doesn’t like black people — oh crap I’m screwed 80% of the NFL is darkly complected — excepted for the QB position what do do you think non–chink Holmes?
^^^ mentally challenged?
Rik Reilly in an insufferable TV personality, but he is the best writer Sports Illustrated ever had. I even bought one of his books, the man is good. He’s one of my writing heroes, respect him Portnoy.
Not because he’s one of my writing heroes, because he deserves respect for his exceptional ability.
Do you actually think the Pats are a good team? They’re 6-3 with the easiest schedule in the NFL (for the second straight season BTW). This isn’t 2004. Pats are barely relevant.
@dajoon, overall record of Pats opponents so far this year is 39-43. Overall record of Steelers opponents this year is 33-49. Why dont you go gripe about their schedule?
Rick Reilly has a fat adopted asian daughter. She has all of his books on her bookshelf and he autographed them with special messages to her. “Who’s your daddy? That’s right me. And I love you.” – From ‘Who’s Your Caddy.” A great writer is never that corny. Time to reevaluate your heros list, Jesus.
Criticize Pioli for taking a safety so high. You should take one a little lower and get Brandon Merriwether or Pat Chung. You honk.
EB is and will always be a monster. This shit is funny
So what happens when he plays the broncos??
You were also wrong about Josh Scobee being a punter. Fuckin’ tard!
Please Jerry, write another piece explaining how the Pats scheme is to keep everything in front of them, while the Rams and Seahawks throw 60 yard flys over their heads.
i LOVE the comment at the end of the video
ya, bellichick would never take a safety in the first round…..oh wait, Meriweather w the 24 overall in 2007. Thornton, do u ever say anything that makes sense?????
To be fair he is from Tenn, and most White people riding horses carry whips in Tenn