Gronk’s done enough living for 20 lifetimes this offseason.  But with the start of Patriots Training Camp a week away and the team bearing down on him to tap his brakes a little, it looks like he’s going to have to get crack-a-lacking if he’s going to cross every goal off his list:

*Break the Twittersphere by banging a Barstool Campus Rep

*Set NFL tight end receiving records, get graded out by Pro Football Focus as the best blocking TE in the game

*Become the highest paid tight end in NFL history

*Be recognized by your peers as the top-rated tight end in the league ahead of Jimmy Graham

*Make the cover of the ESPN Body Issue

*Make the cover of “Madden: 2013″

*Get nominated for multiple ESPYs

*Win an ESPY

*Play Crossys with Dan & Chris in the men’s room at the ESPYs

*See The Avengers

*See “Dark Knight Rises”

*Complete every level on “LEGO Batman 2: DC Superheroes for Wii”

*Read a book

*Win the Celebrity Home Run Derby

*Go on “The Choice” and meet an actual virgin

*Send the US Olympic Team off to London in style by bedding every female member

*Write erotic memoir, “50 Shades of Gronk”

*Score front row tickets for Nickelback!

*Appear in Mr. Kraft’s girlfriend’s audition tape

*Make a video with Bibi

*Co-host “Access Hollywood Live”

*Win the Republican nomination

*Spend the offseason in quiet introspection, taking a journey into self and reflecting on the nature of the human mind, body and spirit

*Buy Zubaz shorts

*Speak out in support of gay acceptance in the NFL

*Rehab injury

@JerryThornton1