STOCKHOLM — Six contestants have braved butt-numbing cold and boredom to win an annual ice pole-sitting contest in northern Sweden. Two women and four men shared the 20,000-kronor prize ($3,100) for remaining on 8.25-foot-tall (2.5-meter) blocks of ice during the 48-hour contest, which ended Saturday. Competitors said the worst part of the competition was not the cold – temperatures dipped below -18 F (-28 C) – but the monotony, even though they were allowed to come down for 10-minute toilet breaks every other hour. Organizer Annica Andersson said the contest has been held annually for a dozen years, and was brought to the Swedish town of Vilhelmnina by a local resident who had participated in a similar competition in Russia.

 

I don’t know much about the Swedes, but is this what they do? Sit on ice poles? And to split a $3,100 prize between six people? I don’t think you could get me to even stay outside in the winter for 48 hours for that kind of money, let alone sit on fucking ice. I did a shirtless snow angel once and I was pretty sure I was gonna die. Lasted like five seconds. Took a three hour shower afterwards. But this is entertainment in other countries? Just literally freezing your ass of for the glory of it? Foreigners are fucking weird. And plus they got ten minute bathroom breaks every other hour which totally devalues the whole thing. Isn’t this a stamina contest? No bathroom breaks should be allowed. You hold that shit in or just piss yourself, which would actually be the smart thing to do. Nothing like some piss to warm the loins.

I guess what I’m saying is that an ice pole sitting contest is that last thing I’d want to do, but if I did do one then I’d do it right, not take any breaks and piss all over myself. Gotta have a little pride, guys.