(Actual burger made by robots. Simply awful.)

San Fran – As San Francisco’s Momentum Machines prepares its new restaurant chain it’s figured out all the details: decor, ingredients, location. The only thing they don’t have to worry about is chefs. That’s because they plan to start the world’s first fast food chain where all the cooking is done entirely by robots. As the company boasts in its release announcing the plan: ‘Our alpha machine replaces all of the hamburger line cooks in a restaurant. It does everything employees can do except better.’ The company’s burger-making machine is capable of making 350 hamburgers per hour.

Are these hamburger making robots shitting me with their burger architecture? That’s one of the worst constructed burgers I’ve ever seen in my life. You have to be a real asshole to put the meat on top of the vegetables. That’s some retarded shit right there. Just look at that lettuce getting all soggy in between the burger and tomato. Then they’ve got the pickles on the very bottom which is mind boggling to say the least. Everyone knows the pickles need to be providing their crunch near the top, not on the bottom supporting the whole weight of the sandwich. And to put chopped onions right on top of the pickles is fucking maniacal. You expect me to believe that the burger is going to retain its integrity when the bulk of it is slipping and sliding around on a bunch of loose onions? Gimme a break. That shit is gonna fall apart in your hands and ruin your whole meal. Just a miscarriage of a burger all the way through. Stupid robots. Get out of my face with that shit.

PS – Just for the record, the perfect burger, from bottom to top, is constructed as follows: bottom bun, burger patty, pepper jack cheese, bacon, iceberg lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, jalapenos, top bun with mayo on it. If you don’t agree with anything on that burger, you’re wrong.