Jezebel – Are you the parent of a little girl who loves Spider-Man? Are you also a limited asshole with narrow views on gender identity? If you answered yes to both questions then do I ever have the child halloween costume for you! Tumblr user Ami Angelwings was recently browsing the Halloween section at Walmart when she stumbled upon this saucy and horrifying little Spider-Girl number. As you can see, Spider-Girl is like Spider-Man only she dresses in pink, wears go-go boots and has the added bonus of limited mobility thanks to her skirt. Not to worry, though — it’s not like a superhero named Spider-Girl will ever have to climb around on buildings or anything. But seriously, this costume is awful and I say that as someone who, as a child, loved the frilliest stuff you can imagine. Even 3-year-old me — who wore pink dresses constantly — would not touch this costume with a ten-foot web that I shot from my hands.
If your child wants to be a superhero, let them dress like a superhero. And on a related note, can we please fast-forward to a time when there no longer has to be a designated girl version and boy version for everything? That shit is long past tired.
Sometimes I’m flat out impressed at how feminists can take something so meaningless and manufacture outrage over it. You honestly gotta hand it to them. It’s a level of insanity that very few have access to. Any normal person who saw this costume wouldn’t even give it a second thought. Oh a pink Spider-Girl costume. Whatever. If a chick wants to be a pink Spider-Girl then this is the costume for her. If not, pick another one. The end. And if she really wants to be authentic looking Spider-Girl, then buy one of those costumes from one of the countless other places that sells them. I just did a Google search and immediately drowned in original Spider-Girls. Pink and fluffy ain’t your only option, ladies. But I guess to make your argument work you have to pretend like it is, right? Classic feminist logic.
What chick wants to be fucking Spider-Girl for Halloween anyway? Costume sucks. Here’s a lesson for any girls reading this: the best costumes are just things with “naughty” in front of them. Like a naughty nurse or a naughty vampire or a naughty pirate. Nobody cares how authentic you are to the original character. Just wear something skimpy and act naughty. Sure fire winner.