Tom Brady Fell In the Charles River And Needed To Be Rescued?
(Does this look like a man who needs to be rescued?)
InsideTrack - Tom Brady [stats] and Gisele Bundchen caused quite a splash at Community Boating Inc . on Beacon Hill the other day when the New England Patriots [team stats] QB/QT flipped his rented kayak and had to be fished out of the Charles River! “They got wet,” said Someone Who Was There. “But they seemed to have a great time.”According to our spies, Tom and Gi rented a pair of kayaks from the sailing club behind the Hatch Shell and the Community Boating bunch got them loaded in and on their way. At some point, however, Tom tipped over and couldn’t get back in the boat!“ He had to be rescued,” said our spy. “The launch guy went out and got him and got him back in the kayak. He’s been bragging about it ever since. He’s telling everyone he rescued Tom Brady.” A spokesman for Community Boating confirmed that the couple had rented kayaks on Sunday but declined to provide any more deets.
This story makes no sense on like 9 thousand different levels. First of all are we really supposed to believe that Tom Brady and Gisele rented Kayaks from Community Boating at the Hatch Shell? Isn’t that where like underprivileged kids and homeless people go during the summer? So no fucking way a 3 time superbowl champion and his supermodel wife are renting kayaks from there and rowing on the Charles. Trust me If they wanted to go kayaking they’d fucking rent a superjet that people didn’t even know existed and fly to the French Riviera to do it. Second of all Tom Brady doesn’t flip kayaks. It just doesn’t happen. Guy is a stud athlete. I mean I’m pretty sure you could drop Brady in the middle of the Perfect Storm and he could stand up, take a piss against the wind and still not get a drop of water on him. So this notion that he couldn’t handle the Charles River is ridiculous . And finally as if the first two parts of this story weren’t crazy enough we’re also led to believe Brady needed to be rescued after he fell in? Isn’t he from a family of Olympic swimmers? If not he should be.
Bottom-line is that you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to figure out what really happened here. Tom and Gisele were simultaneously hang gliding/fucking over Boston when Brady spotted a little boy in distress in the Charles. He swooped in from the clouds and saved the kid dropping him safely at the Hatch Shell without ever missing a pump in Gisele. The people at Community Boating Center so desperate for business in these lean economic times twist the story around saying that Brady was actually the kayaker in trouble figuring if people hear that he kayaks then they’ll get a ton of new business this summer. And to think the plan almost worked. Luckily for us you got to wake up pretty early to fool the Pres even when I have mono.
elpresidente | Random Thoughts | 06/9/09, 2:28 pm |
38 People have left comments on this post
Someone Who Was There.
quite the name, oh the other sources are your “spies” who just happened to be there.
Chances are he mayeb got tipped or some shit, and he was jsut chillin about to get out of the water, and some idiot wanted to “save” him for recognition/chance to touch him.
I love no sources and loose facts for my stories.
I hope he got a tetanus shot after his Charles River experience.
Or this is all a temp diversion from the team/The Hooded One, so people will continue to say shit about his personal life and not worry about whats about to happen on the field, domination.
I mean I’m pretty sure you could drop Brady in the middle of the fucking Perfect Storm and he could stand up, take a piss against the wind and still not get a drop of water on him.
-too bad he couldn’t stand up in the middle of the giant’s pass rush
understandable. it’s not easy to swim while wearing a man scarf, while trying not to get your hair wet.
what a pussy.
I’m going to this joint and renting a kayak. I’m going out and tipping over. I’m gonna scream like jumboman (bitch). When this dude comes out to save me i’m gonna hit him over the head with a hammer and hope he drowns.
If this is true(doubtful) … this low life loser should have never leaked the story to anyone.
“The people at Community Boating Center so desperate for business in these lean economic times twist the story around saying that Brady was actually the kayaker in trouble figuring if people hear that he kayaks then they’ll get a ton of new business this summer”
probably true, and Tom agreed just to help since hes that kind of guy.
Gee playing and being from califronia, im sure he cannot swim at all…
This is horseshit, everyone knows Tom Brady can walk on water.
Anyone know a shitty tatoo artist? I want to get a tat of Tom Brady in a capsized kayak
Did the yittle doggie have its own kayak?
He didn’t have his O-line there to protect him….oh wait, according to the Giants they can’t protect shit.
They definitely got this story mixed up. Tom rented Selma Hayek and used her floaties to navigate the Charles River.
if you don’t know what you’re doing, getting back into a flipped kayak by yourself (supermodels do not help with such tasks) is pretty much impossible. even for tom brady.
You left out the part of the story when you showed up and deep throated him.
» TheSeniorsenator said: { Jun 9, 2009 – 02:06:59 }
Did the yittle doggie have its own kayak?
HAHAHA!!! Where was the little rat?
Did the yittle doggie have its own kayak?
HAHAHA!!! Where was the little rat?
That yittle doggie will have a better life than you 2 miserable fucks ever will.
Yaz who says I’m a miserable fuck? I’m a good fuck.
yittle doggie dickbreath
if you Pats fans were any further up Brady’s ass, you be able to see your head when he opened his mouth
enough of tom brady already…he’s old news
ps Yaz I think there is a line at YOUR driveup window
That is the most bitch thing I’ve ever read…probably worse than the French pussy who made it 400 yards off the coast
ur name is pattyB(faggot). if anyone is a fat fuck ugly tattoo covered swine puss…its you dumbass. o and by the way u wont have time to be saved by the rental shop because ‘ilovefarts’ will be there to blow you faster.
Yaz, you really going to attempt to defend that chicks dog??? your more pathetic than Brady, grasping for air, drowning in the Charles.
but I yike yittle doggies.
new york sports jerk made me laugh.
ENOUGH!
He is so not interested in playing. The last “I wanna play 10 more years…” sounded like he was trying to talk himself into it!
We need a MAN to play this game not an errand running, flower totein’, doggy chaperone, canoeing pussy whipped rehab baby!!!!
Who’s the next kid to get slapped with the franchise tag in Foxboro?
All the homers wonder why he just didn’t walk accross the Charles
NOTHING SAYS IM A PANSY ASS PUSSY LIKE BEING RESCUED FROM THE CHARLES RIVER..HAHA BOSTON KEEP HANGING ON TO SOME PANSIES JIMMY
Senator, good one on the drive-up window, but I’ll have you know I’m THE assistant manager now.
Inside track and GregHill are ghey
Man, he’s going to have an awful case of the Charles River Itch when he gets home…
Way to go Yaz!!
This Blog is gayer than Adam Lambert Snowballing lance armstrong
seems to me that el pres.really wants some of tom brady’s man juice.man i never seen a straight man love another man so much.hold on maybe el pres.isnt straight
you’re right, brady could be in the middle of the perfect storm, stand there and take a piss into the wind and not get a drop of water on him. of course, he’d be covered in his own urine, but hey, what’s the big deal right?
What’s Tom doing hanging out with a tranny league player?
The Charles River fears another blast from the Anointed One. The River runs scared.
Nice to see Tom finally managed to get Giselle wet!
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