Listen I love Tom Brady as much as the next guy and yes I know he’s married to Gisele.   And yes I know he’s impregnated like 12,000 bitches.    But I think he’s officially half gay now or something.  It’s like that scene in District 9 where the alien arm starts growing on that dude except instead of it being an alien arm, it’s the gay.    I’m just worried that this new softer, gentler, kinder version of Tom Brady is not going to win us any more superbowls.    Somebody needs to slap in in the face and snap him out of this funk.   I mean you’re Tom Brady man!  Get with it!   Now excuse me while I go schedule Earth Hour into my calender.   Hey I didn’t say that if Tom Brady asks me to shut my lights off I won’t fucking do it did I?     I just want to win too.