Barstool Sports

#100 – “P.K O’Handley Hits The Deck”

Every once in awhile a video comes across my desk that just hits all the right notes for me. A video that isn’t punch you in the face hilarious, but the more you watch it the funnier it gets. This is one of those videos. First of all I’ve never seen a hockey coach leave the bench like this to argue. And I think the reason why is because of exactly what happened to poor P.K O’Handley here. It’s just tough to take somebody seriously when they are doing back-flips on their head as they try to argue. And as the guy who sent us this video points out the best part is the announcers laissez faire reaction to when the coach goes down.. “PK O’Handley hit the deck”. I’ve watched this 20 times already and it gets better every time. I swear if somebody falls tonight at Liquor Store and somebody says “PK Handley just hit the deck” I will buy them beers on Coors Light’s tab the rest of the evening.

 

#99 – Dating Compilation Video

Ladies if you strike out on the bar scene this weekend don’t fret because there is always dating on demand. Who says we don’t care about the bitches? Pretty sure most of these guys are Stoolies. Not even kidding.

#98 – Funniest Fight Ever

I got to be honest. I don’t hate this guys prefight routine. I mean all that stretching and peacocking would have made me nervous if I was fighting him. Like maybe this guy is nuts or a real fighter or something? Maybe he’s going to stab me? Who knows? But it had to put some doubt in his opponents mind and that’s all you can ask for. And I even love that “I dare you to hit me” move he did when the bell rang. I mean if that thing works the fight is over, but it’s an all or nothing type deal. It’s kind of like a defensive back selling out for an interception. If you make the play you’re a hero. If you miss it’s six the other way and you’re the goat. So sure it’s easy to laugh at him now, but if he takes that first punch and just shakes it off then the other guy is finished mentally. . Unfortunately he got knocked into next Tuesday and boom his whole facade was blown to smithereens. To quote Point Break…If you want the Ultimate you’ve got to be willing to pay the ultimate price and this guy certainly did.

#97 – Spring Break Fight In Pool

EMBED-Why You Never Hit A Girl – Watch more free videos

Listen if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. I’m mostly against dudes beating up chicks. But how about waiting to see if this chick is going to pull the upset of the century before breaking this up? I mean I had that first round 10-9 for the chick. I guess it just goes to prove the old adage about how the Spring Break pool is the great equalizer.

#96 – Fat Girls Dropping It Like It’s Hot

 

I literally spit out my coffee when these fat bitches started dropping it like it’s hot and I wasn’t even drinking any.

 

#95 – Welcome to the Crunkest Gym In America

I just added a new thing I want to do before I die. I want to attend a basketball game at the North Carolina A&T, the “Crunkest Gym in America.” These guys piss on the Cameron Crazies. If I was an opposing player I wouldn’t even play defense so I didn’t risk fouling out. I love how security has to rush the court when somebody picks up their 5th. The Staff of Barstool Sports definitely has to make a road trip next year to A&T. I can just picture me, Jerry, Manzo and UB, the four whitest guys in America ,doing a choreographed dance when somebody fouls out.

#94 – Belly Drop

Just a reminder what happens when we don’t get smokeshow nominations you little horsey….

#93 – Spiderman and Batman Beat A Dude Up

EMBED-Super Heroes Get In Street Fight – Watch more free videos

Apparently the guy getting pummeled was heckling Batman and Spiderman. Obviously not the smartest move of all time. I mean you’re going to get your ass kicked 100 out of 100 times when you start heckling superheroes. Still I never thought I’d live to see the day when people are begging Spiderman and Batman to stop kicking the shit out of somebody. It just doesn’t seem right. I mean is this what America has come to? I thought it was in the superhero rule book that once you’ve defeated a man you don’t keep whaling on him. And what’s up with everybody just watching Spiderman unload on the guy? I mean I know he’s Spiderman, but somebody needs to step in here. If you end up in a spiderweb than so be it, but at least you can look yourself in the mirror the next day.

#92 – Wondergirl Carly

I love Wondergirl Carly. Always have. Always will. Like I remember where I was the first time I saw this. I almost passed out when she took that Interception back to the house. And how about the way the ball just froze in the setting sun on that half back pass? I get chills everytime I watch it. She’s the type of player that you can build a franchise around. And I’m not just talking about the on the field stuff either. I’m talking about marketing and selling tickets and being the face of the franchise. I mean look at the way the crowd, the coaches and her teammates react every time she touches the ball. (My favorite part of the video is watching the coaches run down the sideline with her) It’s pure magic. She just has that certain intangible quality that separates the great ones from the transcendent ones.

#91 Guido Sensation

Patron Motherfucker! That’s all I drink! Alright Frank we’re done….

#90 Fat Bitch Kills Camel

EMBED-Chick Gets Rejected By Camel – Watch more free videos

Fucking fat bitches. Always violating mother nature and shit. Rule #1 of being fat. Don’t sit on any living creature. Rule #2 – Kill yourself.

 

 

#89 – Old Lady Vs. Reverend

Let me ask you this. Who you betting on in this fight if nobody breaks it up? I think I’m taking the old lady. Did you see how long that slap took to reach the Reverend’s face? It wasn’t like quick jab or anything like that. You can almost count to two Mississippi from the time she winds up until she finally hits him. And god bless the Reverend he didn’t even flinch. A manatee would have reacted quicker. It was almost like he never even saw it coming. Meanwhile the Old Lady defended herself pretty nicely from the Reverend’s retaliatory punch with a nice little bob and weave action. And clearly she’s not scared either. I mean she came right back at him looking for more before the PC police broke it up. Yeah, I’m pretty sure the old bag would have eaten the Reverend for lunch.

#88 – Cake Farts NSFW

Click for Video   

Hey it’s like the Pats losing to the Giants.   I can’t act like it didn’t happen right?  

 

#87 – Pizzagate At Fenway

I think it’s safe to say that “Pizza Man” is a certified Masshole. We’re talking the genuine article here. And there is no way those were his real tickets. Clearly he sat in the rain and moved up when the park was half empty. Then like a true Masshole, he just bided his time until he could make his presence felt and when the opportunity presented itself he struck with a vengeance in the form of a pizza slice to the face.

Kudos to you Pizza Man.

#86 – Rope Swing Mishap

EMBED-Perfect Rope Swing Execution – Watch more free videos

To say this lady never had a chance would be one of the great understatements of our generation. Like she literally never even got one foot of the ground. That’s almost impossible when doing a rope swing. I mean even in the worst case rope swing scenario, your feet should be in the air for a minimum of 2 seconds. But not this lady. It was a disaster from the word go. And unfortunately I don’t think it’s the first time that this has happened to her. Because judging from the reaction of the dude with no shirt on he acts like he sees this type of shit on a daily basis.

 

#85 – Herb Brooks Miracle Speech

What is this amateur hour or something? I mean did this kid really read flash cards half way through the speech? Come on dude! Learn your fucking lines! I mean I didn’t see Kurt Russell pulling that crap. Be a fucking professional for once. Seroiusly is that too much to ask?

#84 – It Sings

Did we ever figure out what this thing was?

#83 – Bikini Race At Hollywood Park

EMBED-Hollywood Park Bikini Race – Watch more free videos

A more heartbreaking finish these eyes have never seen.

#82 – Van Dammne Dancing

No list in any decade is complete without a little Jean Claude Van Damme.

#81 – Dallas Is Going Down!

Final Score – Dallas 52 Buffalo 17

I know it sounds crazy but I actually feel bad for Bills fans. Like it’s bad enough to live in Buffalo, but to have to root for a team whose greatest accomplishment is losing 4 straight superbowls? Just doesn’t seem fair. It’s like double jeopardy or something. I mean how does that guy in the above video go on with his life? Or do you think he just died instantly the second Superbowl 27 ended? Probably dead right? Maybe it’s better off that way so he doesn’t see what happens tonight.

#80 – Who Put This Dick On My Back?

Can somebody please tell me how it’s possible that this video is over a year old and only has 64,000 videos on youtube and I’d never seen it? Because this may be my new favorite video of all time. I mean I chuckled a little bit when I first saw the dude walk by with the dick on his back, but when he came back with that New York accent and said “Who Put This Dick On My Back” I literally had tears in my eyes. Bravo sir! Bravo!

 

 

#79 – The Hoff Drunk

The Hoff’s daughter video-taped him shitfaced and then sold it to Entertainment tonight. To quote the great Lawrence Taylor… The Hoff “was set up like a motherfucker”

#78 Plano East-John Tyler 1994 Football

The best real football video on the Internet. Period.

#77 – Peanut Butter Man

Ain’t America great?

#76 – Barbaric

This may have to go down as one of the greatest speeches of our generation. I mean this old bastard had me eating out of his hand the entire time. I couldn’t tell whether he was ready to die (1:04 mark) or getting ready to drop another Barbaric on my ass. Regardless, I’m totally going to start dropping random Barbaric bombs in the middle of my everyday speech from now on. That will keep people guessing. You don’t want to sign that advertising contract? BARBARIC!

#75 – Teacher Gets Sucker Punched

Lady Gets Sucker Punched! – Watch more Funny Videos

Now this is how you do it. This was like a flawless bank robbery. The grandmother is distracting everybody while the mom just discreetly pushes the daughter aside without drawing attention to herself and then unloads on the teachers face. By the time the teacher even realizes she’s hit, the mother and daughter are half way to Mexico. It’s beautiful to watch. As far as the grandmother goes if she gets left behind she gets left behind. “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.”

#74 – Guido Beach

It’s Liquid Gold! My favorite video in the history of the Internet is back! I’m obviously talking about Guido Beach! We posted this back in August and then it disappeared from the Internet only to return recently. It’s like falling in love all over again.

Q – What’s your biggest Pet Peeve?

A – “Biggest Pet Peeve?……I don’t even know what the fuck that means.”

I think you need to watch it at least 33 times before you can catch everything. It’s just one gem after another. I love the guy who had a broken thigh, torn ACL, dislocated kneecap, took a couple pain killers, partied on one leg for a week and knocked down two threesomes in the process. It’s liquid fucking gold bro…..

PS – Coopo wants to breed a huge kid.

#73 – Iron Sheik Goes Nuts

Brian B. Blair is nothing but a faggot, son of a bitch, no good low life worse than Michael Jackson. The Sheik should have broken his back and fucked him in the ass when he had the chance. Because maybe if made him humble and put him in the camel clutch that would have taught him not to pick on defenseless kids and chicks. But instead Hacksaw Jim Dugan had to stick his nose where it didn’t belong and saved Blair’s ass. So good luck sleeping well tonight Hacksaw because this one is on you.

#72 – Drunk Guy Hits His Head In Holding Room

Got to give him bonus points for keep on getting up.

#71 – Reef Chick

I think in the 5+ years since I’ve been running Barstool Sports I’ve probably posted this video 20 times. It features the undisputed hottest chick on the planet. Literally. As a warning she comes in at the 55 second mark and is so impossibly hot that she may burn your eyeballs off. I have no freaking clue who she is, but she is perfect. If anybody can get me more pictures of her and her name, I will gladly ship a free Barstool hat to you. And if one day Barstool Sports suddenly ceases to exist the reason will most likely be because I bought a one way ticket to Argentina and went hunting for this smokeshow.

 

#70 – How Can She Slap?

Maybe still the biggest question of the decade. How can she slap.

 

 

#69 – Lady Stuck In Ditch

EMBED-Woman Stuck In Trench – Watch more free videos

This is the definition of a video never getting old. Like I can watch this 1 million times straight and still love every second of it. And till the day I die I’ll never understand how she ended up in this ditch like this in the first place.

#68 – Alex Baldwin Voicemail

Is there any doubt that Baldwin’s daughter is going to be one of the great sluts of her generation? I mean I’m not gay or anything but Alec Baldwin is a good looking dude. And Kim Bassinger is obviously a smoke show. So this chick is going to be hot as hell and totally fucked in the head. Man, that’s a lethal combination. Is it too early to say I can’t wait until she’s 18?

#67 – Itchy Nuts

EMBED-Itchy Nuts DUI – Watch more free videos

I’m one of the lucky ones. I really don’t get itchy nuts too much. But I can see how this situation would totally suck. I’m thinking the cops could have at the very least used the butt end of their flashlight to scratch this guys balls. I don’t think you can uncuff him, but that would have been a nice gesture. I mean the guy is already having a horrible day. You might as well at least scratch his nuts for him.

#66 – God Is Hilarious

Wait a minute! I don’t get it? What’s so funny? Well this is awkward.

#65 Alicia Sacramone Knocks a Dude Out

Listen if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. You don’t let chicks punch you in the face. Especially Olympians who are built like Russian Tanks. Unless of course you are looking to get knocked the fuck out.

#64 – Introducing Cody Paul

I’m sure everybody says what I’m about to say, but it’s true in my case. I was better than this kid in Pop Warner and look how I turned out. So while I know that the Superfans are all excited because they traded a text message with Cody earlier this week, let’s not put another Cheerio Bowl victory on the mantle quite yet. Regardless, great choice of soundtrack for this kid.

P.S. – You got to feel for the two chumps who got slowmo posterized on the Cody Paul videotape. He made it rain right in their eye. One day you’re just an innocent kid in the 6th grade just trying to fight puberty and the next minute Cody Paul is breaking your ankle in slow motion for the world to see. Life’s not fair sometimes.

#63 Vagina Power

This still may be the funniest, strangest, most outrageous video we’ve ever posted on the Stool. How is this even real? Honestly, how can this be real? My first reaction when I started watching it was oh my god, she’s talking about Manzo. But after getting over the initial shock I just buckled up and enjoyed the ride. It was so good that I almost cried when it ended. There is no way I can even come close to summing up everything that this lady said in the video. I mean she had me in tears like 20 times. “Penis’s on fire, women hooked on cum, jack rabbits, pretzels making people thirsty, penis power, shrimp from Long John’s Silver, a side of penis, working the middle, penis’s ejaculating in peoples brains, screwing chicks into slavery, Cum freaks… I mean it was one brilliant line after another after another after another. And the only reason she stopped is she ran out of time. I think she could have continued for like another hour or so. This lady could easily have her own HBO special.

P.S. – Good to know the fat chick is going to be on the watch out for the dogs and players coming at her hard. I certainly wouldn’t want to see her screwed into slavery.

#62 – Sorority Chick Cries Because She Set Off The Fire Alarm

Would somebody for the love of god please stick a dick in this bitch’s mouth and shut her up already. I mean we get it. You didn’t mean to make the fire alarm go off. You just wanted to make it snow like your dad did back in college, blah,blah,blah. But guess what honey? It did go off and now everybody hates you! Life’s a bitch like that. So shut the fuck up, grab a broom, grab your checkbook and start sweeping.

#61 New England, The Patriots And We

The forebearer of a modern dynasty.

#60 – David Archuleta Fans Crushed

EMBED-Teens Wail Over American Idol Finale – Watch more free videos

I’d love to make fun of these bitches but that was exactly what my house was like this year when Chris Allen won.

 

 

 

#59 – USA Vs. Canada Paraplegic Hockey Brawl

Nobody plays a dirtier brand of paraplegic hockey than the Canadians. It’s disgusting. They’ve been playing this way for years. So it’s good to see the Americans finally standing up to them. (no pun intended) I just wish The Hammer was on the American squad because he would have taught these damn Canadian paraplegics a thing or two about fighting. Because if you think The Hammer gives a rat’s ass whether you can walk or not when he’s whaling on your ass you’re sadly mistaken. USA! USA! USA!

#58 Model With Wobbly Ankles Go Down

I can’t get enough of model mishaps. They are some of my favorite videos on the web. Maybe it’s the crowd reaction? Maybe it’s the fact that the fashion industry takes themselves so seriously? Whatever the case may be I love watching models take diggers. I picked this one strictly for the wobbly ankles and the news anchors laughing. But don’t be fooled I could have gone with 3 others and still been just as happy.

#57 – Gloucester Greasy Pole Competition

First of all, capes should be mandatory for this competition. You might as well not even enter if you don’t have one on.

PS – Was I the only one waiting to see Derek from Road Rules slither his way across the pole to victory?

#56 – Mike Tyson Interview Montage

This list is taking forever. Can I at least get a blowjob?

#55 – Fainting Goats

#54 – Tony Danza Daily Double

Poor Tony Danza. Guy just can’t catch a break.

#53 – Guy Tries To Get Out of Court By Faking Heart Attack

EMBED-How Not To Fake A Heart Attack – Watch more free videos

Ha, you got to feel for this guy. There is nothing like getting caught in a bad lie. I mean once you pull out the old fake heart attack in court routine there is no going back. You just got to ride this shit out till the bitter end. I mean the judge could have told this guy that she was dumping a pack of red ants on his dick and he wasn’t moving. You live by the sword you die by the sword. It’s like Costanza going to his house in the Hamptons. “You want to get nuts, let’s get nuts!

UPDATE – Dude got 43 years in prison. Probably would have gotten community service if it weren’t for the fake heart attack stunt.

#52 – Miss Teen South Carolina

Without a doubt this is the worst answer in the history of beauty pageants. And it also may be my favorite youtube of all-time. The only thing I even came close to understanding was the part about Americans not owning maps, which makes some sense on some level I guess. But after that I think she just blacked out and lost control of her mind. The way she was going I was somehow half expected her to mention Barstool Sports. As a side note you know this video is going to be played in beauty pageant locker rooms across the globe for as long as beauty pageants continue to exist. Whenever a future Miss Teen Contender thinks she’s put in enough time in the weight room or classroom her coach is just to pop in this video and ask whether she wants this to happen to her. It’s a guaranteed two more hours of studying at least.

By the way here is the exact transcript;

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the US should help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

#51 – Lollapallooza Dancer

Let me just say this. In all my years of living I’ve never seen anybody wish they were somebody else more than this guy’s buddy who is so fucking jealous of his friends’ dance moves he can’t even stand it. I swear it will be a miracle if he doesn’t just snap one night and shoot him in the face or something. It just sucks playing 2nd fiddle your entire life and this guy is the definition of 2nd fiddle. You can only live in somebody else’s shadow for so long before you just fucking lose it and go crazy.

#50 – Crazy Bitch On the Subway

EMBED-Crazy Subway Girl (with subtitles) – Watch more free videos

I’m totally speechless. I mean it’s one thing to talk shit to an 83 year old lady. But to free style rap, right in her face? That is a whole different type of fucked up.

PS – Where my doo rag at?

 

#49 – Don’t Tase Me Bro

I’ve always thought this video was overrated but I got to put it in there just because “Don’t Tase Me Bro” has become as important to the English Language as the word “the”

#48 – Christian Bale Freakout

I swear I had the same exact exchange with my photographer at a photoshoot the other day when he got in my line of site while I was blogging. Honestly what the fuck don’t these people get? The only difference between me and Christian Bale is that I didn’t just yell at my guy. I fucking started trashing his lights and breaking shit everywhere. Sometimes violence is the only thing these people understand. Listen nobody interrupts my train of thought when I’m writing Guess That Ass and gets away with it. Not on my watch.

#47 – Kevin Everett Moves!

God, I love news cast screw ups. So does Pat Murphy, you can just tell. He enjoyed this more than anyone.

#46 – Highest High Dive Ever

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. If you only have to wear one bathing suit when you’re diving, you ain’t high enough. This is how all diving should be. You miss the pool, you die. None of this pussy shit like they got in the Olympics. Dana Kunze is all man. He could probably take a red eye to Beijing tomorrow and win six Gold Medals before he gets off the plane.

PS – I knew this guy wasn’t going to fuck around when I saw the zinc on his nose.

#45 – Bro Franklin

Dude somebody put some mustard on this hot dog. Hey asshole nobody likes a showoff. Last time I checked a layup still counts as 2 points or in this case a buck is a buck no matter how much dancing you do before you donate. I mean he damn near killed that lady in the orange.

#44 – Spelling Bee Fainter

Still one of the most inspirational faint jobs of all time. Kid blacks out. Gets up. Nails the word and India goes wild!

#43 – Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video

I’m guessing that second prize is two nights stay. These two videos are far and away my favorites that we’ve had on the Stool in recent memory. I’ve actually been waiting for an excuse to post them again, possibly once the Cavs got eliminated from the playoffs. But then along comes the the actual Cleveland tourism board and serves me up an excuse on a silver platter. Because nothing says “We’re a run down, 5th rate city” faster than saying “We’re NOT a run down, 5th rate city.” It’s an indisputable truth of life that any city that has to sponsor urban pride events like Positively Cleveland is not a city to be proud of. And when Samantha Fryberger (nice name) says there’s no hard feelings, you know for a fact there are hard feelings. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.” But in Cleveland’s defense, at least they’re not Detriot.

#42 – The Hammer

EMBED-Foul Mouthed Mom At Hockey Game – Watch more free videos

Rule #1 of pick up hockey is clearly you don’t fuck with “The Hammer”. This lady can scream and yell all she wants but once “The Hammer” gets his hands on you nature just takes over. Unfortunately Jimmy found this out the hard way. And I love how the friend in the crowd asks where her boyfriend is when Jimmy is in the process of getting mauled so she could hide him from The Hammer. That’s the mark of a true asshole. It’s every man, woman and child for himself when The Hammer comes to town.

#42 – Gisele Dancing

If the Pats brass had any balls this would be the new video they play after every Tom Brady completion. Not just TD’s but completions. On second thought maybe they should play it after any successful offensive play. How great would that be? It’s the perfect clip for the jumbotron. I could easily see this becoming the new Pats anthem. It’s an absolute no brainer. I love it. I know people in the Pats front office read this blog so let’s make it happen. Not only will this drive the other team nuts, but our crowd will eat this shit up. “At the Rio…”

#41 – I Hope Al Qaeda Doesn’t Get There Hands On This

Get this guy a battle buddy already! Yikes! I hope Al Qaeda doesn’t get their hands on this video. Or worse yet Canada. They’d fucking roll down here on their mounted horses in like two seconds and I don’t blame them. Seriously no wonder we haven’t found Osama yet. Fucking Stillwell can’t get the mace out of his eyes.

PS – Do you think this guy’s name is really Stillwell? That seems just a little bit too perfect don’t you think?

#40 – Fire David Letterman Rally

 

These wackballs are a fucking riot. My two favorites were the lady in yellow who said Letterman had a bastard son and a slut for a wife and of course the dude who said that true victim here was Arod because Letterman made him a pervert too. He’s got a point. Seriously this shit had to be scripted right? I mean verbal pedafile and Letterman will rape you with his mouth? Nobody is this funny on the fly. Nobody.

 

#39 – We’ll Do It Live

EMBED-Bill O’Reilly Goes Crazy – Watch more free videos

I promise you that I’m going to use this quote from now on when the shit hits the fan on the Barstool Power Hour. Whenever time is running out on anything in life….

“WE’LL DO IT LIVE! FUCK IT! DO IT LIVE!

#38 – Ollie Gets Owned

I don’t think it’s humanly possible for a guy to get owned more than Ollie did. I honestly feel terrible for him. Poor Ollie was picking his teeth up off the ground by the time this melee was over. Kind of reminded me of watching a great heavyweight boxer take a beating long after he should have retired. I may have to print up some “Poor Ollie” tshirts or something.

#37 – This Goes Out To All The Haters

Tell em bro! Yo, to all ya all people who read the Stool. Do you have a problem with me? You don’t like what I have to say? You think I got a penis in my stomach? Say something to my face. Don’t leave comments in my shit. People think I’m funny! You don’t like my stuff then don’t read it. So fuck off and cue the music!

#36 – Little Kid Gets Stoned At The Dentist

I haven’t been to the dentist since I started Barstool Sports. I almost forgot what I was missing out on. I mean this kid is stoned out of his mind. Stitches or no stitches, I’d hate to be the Cheetos when he gets home.

#35 – Twerk Team Stanky Legg

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! White bitches suck so bad! Seriously that chick in the white pants is flat out mind blowing and that doesn’t even begin to describe how mind blowing she is. My dick is literally still in shock from watching this video.
Somebody get me the Twerk Team at our next Barstool Party ASAP! I don’t want to hear any fucking excuses! Get it done! Where’s my fucking Intern when you need him/her!!

#34 – Wedding Procession Entrance

Probably the most popular video of the decade. Luckily Stoolies can say they saw it before it was being played on the Office.

#33 – Surfer Dude

EMBED-Breaking The Surfer Stereotype – Watch more free videos

I don’t know what it is about surfer dudes but I want to be one. It’s weird to because I hate X Gamers and hippies and basically everybody who isn’t like me. But I like surfers. I think it all started with Point Break.

#32 – Female Midget Humped By Bull

If you don’t feel bad for this midget chick than you have no soul. I mean all this poor girl was trying to do was to gain some respect in the world. You think that comes easy when you’re a female midget in Mexico? No fucking way. So god bless her, she put her life on the line to fight a bull. People had to respect that. That was until the bull had to go and hump her ass. I mean it just doesn’t get more degrading than that. Gore me. Kill me. Tear me from limb to limb. But whatever you do please don’t hump me. You know this poor midget was on the ground thinking to herself. “No, not the hump, anything but the hump!” And am I crazy or did the clowns take their sweet ass time to break it up too?

#31 – Chris Berman Freaks Out

Somebody at ESPN must HATE Chris Berman. I mean I haven’t seen a smear campaign like this since the Sox got rid of Nomar. Boomer must be storming around the offices at Bristol with a bottle of Jack in one hand and a sawed off shotgun in the other looking for who is doing this. For our sake let’s hope he never catches the person because these videos are hilarious. But there is no doubt which one is the best. It’s obviously the one with Rebecca. This video would be blog worthy even if I didn’t know who Chris Berman was. I mean that little shimmy he did when he asked Rebecca is he made her squirm was priceless stuff. I’m totally going to start using that as my new pickup line with the Barstool girls. “Do I make you Squirm” followed by that dance is like an unstoppable one two punch. I don’t know how Rebecca kept her pants on. Just classic stuff. As a side note somewhere Rebecca’s poor married husband weeps knowing that Boomer laid pipe on his wife.

#30 – Spring Breaker Keeps Dancing

Let this be a lesson to all the bitches with hot asses out there. It’s easy to dance and celebrate when things are going well. But the true mark of a man (or girl) is how you handle adversity. And this spring breaker passes the test with flying colors. Lots of girls would have thrown in the towel after taking a spill like this. But not this girl. She gets right back up and starts dropping it like it’s hot from ground level and the crowd goes fucking bananas. All the other girls in the competition probably just packed their backs and went home at this point. What a professional.

 

#29 – Foul Ball Guy

Bitches getting wet everywhere after watching this video. “Way to use your elbows sir”

#28 – Pervert Caught Beating Off At Public Library

Lot’s of great parts to this video. First of all haven’t we all learned that whenever a TV camera man shows up randomly at your house and starts talking about deviant sexual behavior that you should just run away? I mean how many times do we need to watch Dateline? I also liked the Librarian who seemed so desperate to get people to visit the public library that she basically adopted an anything goes at the library public policy.. Finally I love how Buckeye Man gets all tough when his dad comes outside ready to kill people. Great stuff. Do me a favor Buckeye Man, invest in your own computer. It will save you a ton of grief.

#27 – Smell Yo Dick

Game, set, match. You might as well just give “Smell Yo Dick” the Grammy for song of the year already. Nobody is going to be able to compete with this shit. I predict that within a month you won’t be able to walk in a club in America and not hear Smell Yo Dick. Dudes will just be grinding with chicks and smashing their faces into their balls. It’s gonna be nuts.

#26 – Colt’s Fan Gets Dominated At Tailgate

How Not To Tailgate – Watch more Funny Videos

This pretty much sums up everything that is wrong with Colts fans. Absolute pussies.

#25 – Celtics Fan Dancing To Bon Jovi

I’m kind of ashamed of myself for putting this on this list because I know it’s fake. But whatever I’ll be an idiot.

#24 – Everyday Normal Guy

Despite the overwhelming bravado of most Stoolies who read Barstool Sports I’m pretty sure that this song describes 99% of our readership. Just everyday normal guys mother fucker.

#23 – Your Business Card is Crap

That whoosh sound that you just heard was me rushing to the phone to get me one of these business cards. Seriously I’ve been sitting here like a god damn idiot wondering why nobody takes the Stool seriously. Obviously it’s because of my lame ass business card. I mean not only does it fit in a rolodex like a chump, but you can rip it to shreds without even breaking a sweat. It’s a fucking pussy business card is what it is. It’s Strathmore stock. Looks like crap. It is crap. Well shame on me. Enough is enough. I’ve finally seen the light. It’s time to step up my game and get one of these pop up business cards filled with all the smut that I can fit into it. I’m talking I want this thing to give people a fucking blow job when I hand it to them from now on. None of this boring bullshit. Thank you Joel Bauer. You just changed my fucking life.

#22 – Epic Salon Fight

Free hat to anybody who can explain what this fight was about. Anyway, say what you want about the chick who was getting womped on, but she took this beating like a man. Never fucking backed down for a second. Never needed a standing 8 count. Just kept talking shit even when they ripped off her weave and tagged in the bitch in the red sweat pants who went all jujitsu on her face. (I literally gasped when that happened by the way) Also what was up with the music in the background? That confused the fuck out of me. I kept checking everything I had open on my computer to see where it was coming from. But I guess it was the soundtrack to this video. Weird.

PS – I love Mills Lane in the backround keeping it clean with the “one at a time” warnings.

#21 – The Final Countdown

Best version of the Final Countdown ever. Period.

#20 – Eastern Motors

You can tell we’re in the top 20 when Eastern Motors makes it’s way onto the scene.

 

#19 – Reporter Swallows Bug

Still the best reporter video on the web in my humble opinion.

#18 – Officer Riviera

EMBED-Jerk Cop Harasses Skaters – Watch more free videos

Dude, don’t call this cop dude or else he’s going to freak the fuck out. And I don’t blame him either. I’d be edge on to if I had to drive around in that little Yugocart all day. I mean I’m sure people don’t give him much respect driving around in that thing so sometimes he just takes it. Plus I’m always hesitant to pass judgments in videos like these because I hate skate boarders and don’t trust them as far as I can bowl them. Something tells me this kid was probably saying lots of shit besides “Dude” that we couldn’t hear. Regardless when will bully cops learn? If you’re going to choke slam a 14 year old X gamer make sure you destroy all the cameras first. Because these punks always carry video cameras to record policy brutality. In fact, it should be rule #1 in the cop handbook. “When attacking skateboarders smash all their electronics and then whoop ass” It’s just common sense really. And then rule #2 should be only dump handicapped people out of their wheel chair when you’re at least 93% sure that they are really handicapped.

#17 – Starwars Kid

Kid is probably knee deep in pussy from all the attention this video got him. Or maybe not.

#16 – Harold’s QVC Ladder Mishap

EMBED-Ladder Collapses On Dude – Watch more free videos

Harold had to know the thing wasn’t locked when it basically inverted on itself when he first climbed up there right? But like a true champion he just carried on with his suicide mission anyway. After all once you say a ladder is locked you can’t go back under any circumstances. It just ruins the credibility of the entire operation. Regardless you got to respect the hell out of him for still trying to sell the thing after he bashed his face into it. He’s lying on the ground unconscious saying “it’s still very safe so keep calling for it. ” ABC baby. Always Be Closing.

“It’s locked…. Now it’s locked….It wasn’t locked”

As a side note, I don’t even understand what the point of the ladder is in the first place? I mean even if Harold successfully crawled across the top of it, the lady standing on the ground would have still been higher. It makes no sense. And yet they are charging like 200 bucks for this thing back in the 70’s. So really it is like a 5,000 dollar ladder that doesn’t even get you higher than people standing at ground level. But on the bright side it does work perfectly when locked.

#15 -Superbroker Shuffle

I’m not even kidding when I say I screamed to nobody in particular “Get Me The Super Broker Sales Team!” at least 7 times during this video. Seriously imagine the damage I could do if I had these guys selling ads for the Stool? I mean you can’t put a price tag on this type of charisma, spunk, attitude, desire etc. My only question is what guy did you like the best? Here are my top 5, but you make a case for any of them to be number 1.

1. Grey Poupon Guy

2. Ortega Guy

3. Peanuts Guy

4. Hawaiian Punch Guy

5. Rajan Cajun

PS – Laura Mosely (the brunette) made my dick move.

#14 – Latarian Milton Likes To Do Hoodrat Stff

Who would have thunk that the quote of the decade on Barstool Sports would come from some 7 year old fat kid? That’s what makes blogging great I tell ya. You just never know what the day is going to bring.

“It’s fun to do bad things. I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friend”

Ha! Ha! Ha! I fucking love this kid. Get Latarian a movie deal already! And I want his sidekick who smokes “real” cigarettes in it too. He sounds like the next Wade Garrett if you ask me. This is totally going to be my defense when I have my hearing in two weeks to get my drivers license back.

Judge: “Sir why do you have so many moviing violations?

El Pres – “It’s fun to do bad things. I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friend”

PS – Since when did the United States become China? Don’t you think making this kid skip video games for a whole weekend is a little bit extreme?

#13 – You Are Not The Father

Whenever I am in a bad mood I always play the “You are not the father” clip and it never fails to cheer me up. It’s a natural high like none other.

#12 – John Dennis Voicemail

I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for this video. Kind of helped put us on the map. Also got the original Barstool Power Hour fired from 1510 the Zone. And to this day WEEI holds a grudge. Hilarious.

#11 – Break Dancer Kicks Baby

Hey that’s what you get for walking in the middle of a breakdancer’s routine. Got to have your head on a swivel.

 

#10 – George Brett Shit Story

I am absolutely flabbergasted by this video! That was some of the most nervous/uncomfortable laughter I’ve ever heard in my life from the Royals players. I mean what do you do when George Brett, the greatest Royal of them all is telling you a 10 minute story about how he shit his pants? Honestly, what do you do? You have to kind of laugh right? And who had the microphone? I mean I’m going to give George Brett the benefit of the doubt here and say he didn’t realize he was miked up. Or maybe he is just so bat shit crazy that he thought this would make good television. Either way the Hall of Fame needs to add the following quote to his plaque in Cooperstown.

George Brett – “Good for shitting his pants at least twice a year”

PS – What’s a double tapered shit? I totally want to do one of those AC Slater style. I bet that would get you in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Double PS – Is there a better segway to a shit story than “Hey who’s pitching this game? I don’t think so.

#9 – Who Is Going to Pay For the Air?

EMBED-Funny Ballon Prank Angry RA – Watch more free videos

Who is going to pay for the air indeed? Ladies and gentleman these are our future leaders.

#8 – Australian Party Kid

No word yet on whether Corey took off his glasses yet.

#7 – I Like Turtles

Maybe the perfect video? Could have easily been voted #1 video of the decade. Kid is probably bullshit with his #7 ranking.

#7B – St. Johns Shrewsbury Cross Country Runner Crawls To the Finish Line

I’m so pissed right now I can barely even speak. I was convinced that this video had completely vanished from the Internet. This is a no brainer top 20 video. Probably top 10. And it’s not like I forgot about it. I just couldn’t find it. Turns out it still exists. So rather than redoing the entire list I just added a 7B. Is that legal? I don’t even fucking care. It had to be on this countdown.

FYI – here is the original commentary that almost caused a riot….

First of all this has to be the biggest crowd in the history of cross country running in Massachusetts right? I mean what the fuck? Wasn’t there a football game or something going on? Anyway, I know what people are thinking. Wow, this is such an inspiration. This kid has the heart of a champion. He refused to give up and willed himself to the finish line. And I guess you could certainly make that argument. But then I remembered that this was only a 5K race. Umm, not to brag, but I’ve run 5 miles before. Seriously who pulls this shit in a 5K race? This is the crap you see at marathons and triathlons, not by people who run around the Charles River. So I think it’s safe to say despite the big heart of “Let’s Go St. Johns” this kid doesn’t have a bright future in running.

PS – I like how his teammates patted him on the back as they ran by him. That was nice. And that lady who couldn’t even bare to watch can calm down. It’s not like he was dead.

#6 – Grape Lady Falls

While the lady screaming in agony is allot of fun, my favorite part of the video is when they throw it back to the studio and you can tell the anchors are trying not to laugh. Also you got to love the dude who says “I think she’s actually hurt” No shit, sherlock! What gave it away? Was it the part when she said she couldn’t breath or the primal screeches she was making on the ground? Regardless, this video is a great lesson for all the kids out there. This is what happens when you try and cheat at grape stomping. You can’t yell stop and then try to smush some extra grapes. If you do you’ll end up falling off your pedestal and breaking yourself. It’s really a great metaphor for life when you think about it.

#5 – Boom Goes The Dynamite

As you would expect with the #5 video of the decade this guy has become an absolute legend. I think SI even did a story on him and “Boom Goes The Dynamite” is actually in Webster’s Dictionary. At least it should be.

#4 – Mini Mall

The thing I respect about the Mini Mall guy is that he made this commercial before it was “cool” to make viral videos like this. He made it simply for the love of the game and it has withstood the test of time. Yup it’s Barstool Sports winner for best youtube commercial of all time.

#3 – Janice

They had me at hello with this video. I mean how can anything that is entitled “Fat Kid on a Roller Coaster” be bad? The answer is that it can’t.

And let me just say this. I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a Foxhole with Janice. I got to believe that her laugh will haunt the fat kid’s dreams for the rest of his life. Hell, I may have some nightmares about her demonic laugh myself.

#2 Leprechon in Mobile Alabama

When I first saw this video I took a blood oath to play it every St. Patrick’s Day for the rest of my life as long as the Stool is still in business. So five years later here we are. From the opening scene when that dude asks who has seen the leprechaun, to the amateur sketch drawing of it, to the lady who thinks he’s a crack head, to the guy who has the ancient flute, it’s one great moment after another.

#1 – You Got To Be Smiling, You Got To Be Dancing, You Got To Be Shaking That Ass

The next decade better step it up Motherfuckers!