Ty Lawson Tweets That He Wants To Fuck Kim Kardashian…Good Move?
If I read about this last week I would have been praising the shit out of Ty Lawson. Because up until this weekend I was a firm believer that no matter how much chicks may deny it, they all want to hear that dudes wants to fuck the shit out of them and treat them like slutbags. So putting a bug in Kim Karadashian’s ear that you want to bang her can only pay dividends down the line. But now I’m not that sure about that.
Because this weekend at the Vineyard this theory was put to the test. About 10 of my buddies went out to dinner and we had a cute waitress. We were all drinking and acting like assholes and one thing led to another and we went around the table and everybody had to say somehting nice about the waitress. Lame right? Well it was the typical “pretty eyes, good sense of humor blah, blah, blah bullshit. Then one of my buddies says “he wants to fuck the shit out of her until she screams” Seriously that was his compliment. The waitress did a quick 180 and didn’t return for about 10 minutes. It was borderline awkward the rest of the night. Now I kept telling my friend I loved the move. Like even though she seemed offended I bet deep down she loved it and when she came to our house late night he’d probably bang her. Well guess what? She never showed and she never gave any indication that she was into it. Crazy right? So it’s kind of made me rethink eveything I thought I knew about chicks. That’s why I’m not sure whether Kim Kardashian will like this tweet or not. Hmm, maybe I should ask Jenna what she thinks? Do girls like hearing strange guys tell them that they want to pummel them in the sack?
if he looked anything like u i could see why it didnt work out.
“We were all drinking and acting like assholes”
surprise surprise
You get away with this move if you look like Tom Brady or Brad Pitt but if you’re a short jewish dude (just guessing) probably not the best route
I told Jenna what I would do to her multiple times at Stoolapalooza. She didnt fuck the shit out of me.
Lesson learned?
should have flipped-up the collar on the Izod shirt, that would have sealed the deal
That works 1 out of 47 times.
It only works on sluts with very low self-esteem that had shitty fathers.
why wouldnt it be a good move? she fucked ray j on film, slut.
it would have worked if your waitress was a waiter.
the better route would’ve been the “make fun of her” play. the move is fucking gold and here’s why: you make fun of a girl, she gets self-conscious and then she’s trying to prove you wrong the whole rest of the night because girls hate to think there is something wrong with them, it’s addition by subtraction.
caveat: you have to be good looking. ugly dudes who make fun of a chick are just dicks. whereas if you’re good looking, it leaves the girl with having to prove something to the “good looking guy” (also, this only works on girls who have no self-confidence, which is good for guys because most of the hottest girls are so hot because they need to prove to people they’re hot to convince themselves of that fact).
this is a stupid question to ask Jenna cuz she already knows every guy wants to pummel her in the sack. if she had an extra 60 lbs on her, then she’d love to hear it.
The fact that you were going around the table is the gheyest thing ever.
Once your buddy goes public with his feelings she will be known as a huuuuge slut if she puts out. If he takes her aside and says, “what i wanted to say…” gold.
uhhh thanks FD? any other breaking news stories you’d like to share?
yeah, you’re a dick. hot off the press.
F.D. Romanowski, making fun of smokeshows is too extreme– they know you are just trying to be a dick. You have to neg… basically pretend like she’s not sexually attractive to you by making a neutral comment about her
F.D. – as much fun as it would be to make fun of you right now, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression.
now we know what FD stands for
right bro?
isn’t she banging Miles Austin?
You don’t say it like that and not when you are drunk. A sober, “I would do terrible, terrible things to you” is a classy yet firm alternative to “I wasnts to fukcz you harrdz” or however you spell a man slurring that.
Jenna, I will fuck you until you love me.
“they all want to hear that dudes wants to fuck the shit out of them and treat them like slutbags.”
They do but you got to be subtle about it and flirty. Not creepy and desperate like that knucklehead you were having dinner with.
it’s true most girls want you to slam in the sack and treat them like whores.
it is also true that girls are attracted to assholes. nice guys like myself have a hard time fathoming that. I absolutely hate when girls bitch and complain about their boyfriend who runs around and cheats. your the idiot miss. now miss if you please, I guarantee I will own you in bed and I’m better than your asshole boyfriend in the sack (I learned my stoke from ron jeremy, your boyfriend learned his stroke from listening to me talk about ron jeremy’s stroke). and heck i’ll even make you a sandwich and rub your belly afterwards.
but a woman who doesn’t say the words “harder” or “more” is an absolute bore in bed.
good move 1 on 1, terrible in front of a group, small dick syndrome.
also why on earth drive the price up on eachother, should have just been normal and asked where her and her friends typically hang out that isn’t always packed.
Only works if you’re hot & considering that birds of a feather flock together, something tells me your friend ain’t.
This would explain her reaction and subsequent awkwardness.
I’m picturing the scene where you and you friends are 4 beers deep shitfaced trying to out do each other with your chat-up gambits and finding it real hard to get a circle jerk conclusion to the night out of my head…..get over yourself frat boy I’ve met you and that loser crew and not one of you pasty scroats could hit a barn door with a canoe paddle….faghorns!!!!!
Mike Hunt with the bitter zinger!
You think one line at the end of the night is going to close the deal? For real?
Better go watch Glengarry Glen Ross again:
Always
Be
Closing
I say fore-go all that bullshit and just rape the bitch. Bitchs love being raped. But hey….that’s just me.
Average Stoolie commenter
———The Line——
Screwdriver
lol……is there REALLY a line on the Stool?……………hmm…………maybe……….never settle for average.
Ty Lawson. He has the skin tone for the job
[...] …we get started with Ty Lawson wanting to bone K. Kardashian for 17 min. [Barstool] [...]
It works on waitresses all the time, but only the ones that work in Strip clubs because they are not hot enough to dance so they love the attention.