LVJ – Here’s one of those stories that could only really happen in a gambling town like Las Vegas. Or maybe for this story it ought to be, “What happens in the cab, Stays in the cab.” But that’s not how it works for Adam Woldemarim, a big and honest teddy bear of an Ethiopian cabdriver.Back on Sept. 2 he was cleaning out the back seat of his van just before the start of his 2 p.m. shift when he spotted something between the seats. It was a black soft laptop case. It was stuffed with $221,510. In cash. So Woldemarim, surprised by the heft of nearly a quarter-million dollars, lugs the cash to the security office at Frias Transportation Management, which owns his company, Virgin Valley Cab. An hour later, while Woldemarim is driving the streets of Las Vegas, hustling for tips as all cabdrivers do, he gets a call from security: “Come on back to the office. We need you.” He returns to the office and, once again, the surprise factor: There’s a guy who says it’s his cash, standing right in front of him, a broad grin across his face. He’s a white guy. Under 30 years old. Brown hair. T-shirt. The supposed owner of the cash is very excited. It turns out he won big at the Wynn and was on his way to the airport when he realizes he forgot a little something. The stuff that dreams are made of. He immediately calls the cab company. Security tells him they’ve got it. It’s safe and sound. He hugs Woldemarim. He thanks him immensely for his honesty. Words cannot describe, nor can money buy. He asks Woldemarim where he’s from. He then gives Woldemarim a big tip. $2,000.

First of all this story STINKS to high heavens. Like I’m supposed to believe a guy happened to win big at the Wynn casino and absent mindedly left a brief case behind with 221K in the  back seat of a cab?  Umm no offense but that’s impossible. There is just no way you can forget that much cash in a cab. This isn’t a cell phone. This isn’t your wallet falling out of your back pocket. This is laptop case stuffed with 200 grand. It’s impossible to forget. You bear hug the shit out of that thing from the second you leave the hotel till the 2nd you stuff it under your mattress. I just refuse to believe anybody could leave that behind or even put it down.

But let’s for the sake of this blog say this went down the way Adam Woldermarin described. He found the cash and returned it to the rightful owner. How big of a tip should this dude get? 20K minimum right? I mean 2,000 bucks has to be the biggest slap in the face of all time. 2,000 bucks? That shit is ash tray money bro. You know what I would have done. Taken my dick out and pissed on that money. Have some self respect.

PS – You know how else I know this story is fake? What kind of Ethiopian cab driver is named Adam? Bullllshittttttt……Bullllshitttttt……