What Should I Talk About at the BU Sports Journalism Seminar?
True story: Today I’ve been invited to BU to take part in a seminar on online sports journalism at the College of Communications. Working for the greatest sports-smut website the world has ever known is not without its advantages. The professor who invited me has been somewhat vague, but I have every reason to think they’ll award me an honorary doctorate, probably offer me a fellowship, a full ride for both my kids… you know, everything you’d expect for a man of letters. I suspect that by the end of the day I’ll have an open invitation to all the hockey team parties and first pick of all the coeds. I think I should expect nothing less.
The only problems are: 1) I’ve never taken a journalism course in my life. 2) We didn’t have seminars at the state school I went to. Which is to say, I sure as hell never went to one. And 3) It’s been a while since I’ve been in a college classroom. So I’m rusty. But I want to be prepared. After all, I am representing the Stool and feel I owe it to Dave and the rest of the empire to make a good impression. So I’ve been brushing up the only way I know how: By memorizing things I think will come in handy like the Carpe Diem speech from “Dead Poets Society” and the “How you like them apples” bar scene from “Good Will Hunting,” since I’m sure that’s how college kids talk, right?
Anyway, for this one time I could use the comments sections help. I’ve prepared a few topics I think will be useful to educate these kids about, but I don’t want to leave a stone unturned. Here’s what I’ve got so far:
*How to turn a lifetime wasted in front of a TV into a lucrative career
*Drunk writing
*The Sex Scandal Teacher grading system explained
*Working for a pornographer
*Working with Jews
*How feminists want to make the rest of the world as miserable as they are
*How old is too old to be publicly creeping on young celebrity chicks
*The time I almost got fired for saying “Talledega Nights” is better than “Major League”
*The History of Manzo
*Belichick, Brady, Mr. Kraft & Me: A Love Story
*Explaining to your loved ones why you spend countless hours every week obsessing over your work for a soft-core porn site in order to entertain the great unwashed of degenerates, gambleaholics, frat boys, wage slaves, perverts and Massholes and how getting involved with the Stool is one of the best things you’ve ever done in your life.
What else am I missing?
you should talk about why you look like a dweeb…
Why bald pussies are always better than pussies with landing strips.
how to be nice to retards that are also your co-workers, how to turn a very funny video into an unfunny blog, how to turn a stupid video into a hilarious blog, how a lack of education in writing can lead to verbal abuse from readers
Spellcheck: Can Turning It Off Generate Ad Revenue Through Page Views?
I think you should say that, while you find sports journalism fascinating, you really have no experience or expertise in the field. Then do a 100 slide power point on teachers who fucked their students.
By the way, it’s at BU. Lecturing those students on working with Jews is like lecturing fish on swimming.
correction, Working with ugly Jews.
How about the decay of literacy among society into bolivian, seeing as you’re the only one who consistently makes readable blogs, without getting cheap (davey) pageviews.
Jerry did you report your stolen chin to the cops?
*The grey areas of rape.
how the pussification of America has infiltrated nearly every aspect of our lives and let to such heinous examples like Neil
talk aobut the puppy who lost its way
led*
talk about rape
*Potato Recipes: The Secret Behind Barstool’s Ethnic Bonding
you could talk about that time you jerked in your car to Tom Brady’s Ugg billboard
The pussification of America certainly needs to be discussed. Along with the Zionist occupation of media (Portnoy). Identify the major players in the game. And open strong with anti- feminism… You’ll be a big hit
the art of the triple post
Who in their right mind would think Ricky Bobby is funnier than Major League. Fuck off.
Start with “When I was your age” and end with the word “doomed.”
Ur such a G, big Jer. My man.
If people blogging in semi-obscurity are “journalists” what are commenters? The journalists’ copy editors? You’re like some bitch with a Model Mayhem page who calls herself a model.
Regale them with tales of hijinx from your thankfully brief career in standup
*Alcoholism, Masturbation, Delusion, and Self-Loathing: Inside the Life of a Barstool Commenter
When is this lecture? I’m a BU student and I want to attend…
Don’t go Jerry. It’s just a plot to kidnap you and use you for ransom.
Come on Admiral. Why the hate for ALL the commenters dude? Im doing payroll, in my office at my Grub N Grog, on the Ohio river as we speak. You couldnt be more wrong buddy. Ive never bagged you or big jer. Other than prez you two are my favorites. Im a very sensitive commenter, be respectful.
Oh and to answer ur question Big Jer, how about how barstool writers have the cunning ability to make one believe they arent twice the troll that the commenters are. The art if manipulation so to speak, hipocracy.
*Champagne, Caviar, Porsches, and Pulitzers: Inside the Life of a Smut Blog Hockey Contributor.
“By otwisted on September 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm
*The grey areas of rape.”
If they want someone to talk about that, they could just bring in a hockey player or three.
goddy77, huge difference between ‘a’ and ‘the’.
I’ve never insulted the entire comment section. But if you happen to get offended, then…
cantget, you wanna film the doc?
goddy, how does one get suspended from twitter???
Absolutely. It wouldn’t be the first time that I’ve recorded myself jerking off.
Jerry, you could run through a daycare with a Sandusky mask and dick in your hand and still look less creepy than you do on a daily basis.
Admiral, good point.
—–
rp, no idea bro. Better question, how did i get suspended 5 times?
You forgot “The Art of Writing Like a Mouthbreather”.
How long do you have to speak?
‘Cause you’re wordy, long-winded, rambling blogs make me think you need 3 hours, minimum.
Jerry, this blog actually made me laugh out loud… at the fact that you have two kids.
tell them to be themselves. unless their ugly. or have horrible personalities. but seriously how to work with jews is probably the most important thing anyone can be taught
Jerry the best thing you could do with your life is end it. We could finally use a laugh out of you. Just ONE FUCKING LAUGH Jerry. Go out to the garage with a garden hose and two rags and thd keys to the Tercel. JUST FUCKING DOOOO IIIIT!!!!!!! No you cant go back in for the Sade cassette. Jesus Christ with this fuckin guy!!!!
You never took a journalism course? Shocker
Talk about the gaping hole of prez wife that Jew cunt. And how he met her in a michagan rest stop after she got plowed out by a bunch of dirty nigga truckers
Talk about the gaping hole of prez wife that Jew cunt. And how he met her in a michagan rest stop after she got plowed out by a bunch of dirty nigga truckers
Talk about the gaping hole of prez wife that Jew cunt. And how he met her in a michagan rest stop after she got plowed out by a bunch of dirty nigga truckers
Talk about the gaping hole of prez wife that Jew cunt. And how he met her in a michagan rest stop after she got plowed out by a bunch of dirty nigga truckers
Talk about the gaping hole of prez wife that Jew cunt. And how he met her in a michagan rest stop after she got plowed out by a bunch of dirty nigga truckers die Jew
Talk about the gaping hole of prez wife that Jew cunt. And how he met her in a michagan rest stop after she got plowed out by a bunch of dirty nigga truckers die Jew
Barstool is a lot of things…journalism is not one of them.
BU once again proves how much of a joke any journalism major is.