Source – Health and safety killjoys have been slammed for shutting a new school playground before it was even opened over fears a child could be injured. Parents had spent months raising $35,000 to pay for new climbing frame outside Stratford Landing Elementary School, in Fairfax County, Virginia – and claim they worked with authorities to ensure the site met required standards. But before a child could set foot in the playground, authorities performed a last-minute U-turn and deemed it to be a hazard.


I have a question. What the fuck happened to playgrounds? I was reading the above story and when I looked at that picture I was fucking baffled. What is that? How are you supposed to even play on it? It looks like an architect took a bunch of acid and just randomly bent some metal and called it playground equipment. Who are the assholes responsible for ruining a perfectly good thing like the playground? When I was a kid this is what we had and it was awesome:

Wooden playgrounds all day son. Got those rings you can hang from. There’s that rubber bridge which is absolutely useless but still fun for some reason. The rope nets you can climb, the towers you can conquer, the little decks you can burrow under. A sweet metal slide that burns off your skin when you go down it. Now that’s a fucking playground. Don’t give me any of that modern, futuristic bullshit. I’m glad they closed that monstrosity down. It’s unfit for play because it’s not a real playground. It’s abstract art. You can’t play on abstract art.

What’s happening to this country when we can’t even do a playground right anymore? Someone needs to fix it. If I ever slip one passed the goalie and have a kid I want him playing on a real, American playground. Not some gay artsy fartsy monkey bars.