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What The Fuck Is This Thing In My Mouth?
I’m sure this blog is going to freak people out but I don’t give a shit. I got a fucking problem. I got this thing growing in my mouth. I don’t know what the hell it is. It appeared out of nowhere a couple weeks ago. I thought it had something to do with the fact I had a cold and would just go away when my cold did, but the thing is relentless. The First Lady nicknamed it “the alien”. At first I kind of thought it was funny. Like hey look at me. I got an alien in my mouth. But now it’s just a pain in the ass. It doesn’t really hurt or anything, but who wants a ball of mouth in your mouth? That shit is for suckers. I haven’t gone to a dentist or a doctor since I started the Stool, but I think I got to go get this shit cut off or something. Has anybody ever had an alien before? There is a part of me that thinks I’m about to die. I hope not. That would suck balls.
Oh and in other news I took a misbite eating smartfood last week and my jaw has hurt ever since. It’s like my jaw is misaligned or something now. It’s even causing my ear to start hurting. I’m telling you I’m falling apart at the seams over here. Is this what happens when you turn 33? Buy a shirt.
Two words, just two:
ORAL CANCER
cue Arnold: ” Eet’s NOT ah tooomer”
just ignore it. It will go away.
“It doesn’t really hurt or anything, but who wants a ball of mouth in your mouth? That shit is for suckers.”
hahahahaa
I already told you a LUNCH SPOILER ALERT would be nice. PLEASE!!
AIDS
An abscessed tooth is a painful infection at the root of a tooth or between the gum and a tooth. It’s most commonly caused by severe tooth decay. Other causes of tooth abscess are trauma to the tooth, such as when it is broken or chipped, and gingivitis or gum disease.
Guess that’s what happens when you don’t go to the dentist in over 5 years you sick shit…
looks like you bit off the first lady’s clit, and are storing it in the corner of your mouth
Just throw some tussin on it and you’ll be fine.
“I haven’t gone to a dentist or a doctor since I started the Stool. . . .”
You are retarded. You have money to blow on bookies and $300 shirts, but you can’t go see a dentist or a doctor for an annual? You probably wanted Coakley to win so the rest of us could pick up your medical bills. Grade-A douchebaggery.
At least now you should be on your wife’s insurance (assuming that her only job isn’t just mailing out t-shirts for you). Get it done before you die and we have no more BSS.
Keep sending pics as it grows, especially when the monster pops out of your chest.
yummmm Skoal Spearmint
Prez i looked it up on web MD, apparently its and abcess caused by swallowing to much splooge. I guess sucking cock to get places in life works for men to.
QUUUUAAAIIIIIDDDD, start the reactor…….. Quaaaiiiddd
Where you blowing a midget with leprosy?
Because that certainly looks like a tiny nut.
I second the clit vote.
I hope you are kidding about not going to the doc or dentist. That is just foul. Even my 7 year old knows he should go and get a check up.
mucocele
Just chew it off. If you bite it hard enough it will just pop.
That thing is enormous. It is reflecting the glare from your camera flash.
Jab a pin in it and see what comes out.
not sure about the growth, but the other problem with you jaw could be TMJ. look it up online. I have it. it is from grinding/clenching my teeth at night. sometime when i was eating it felt like my jaw became dislocated briefly and then popped back into place. basically it got so bad that I can no longer open my mouth all the way. it really sucks. the only option now is surgery and my oral surgeon told me it is too risky and not always effective. i strongly suggest you speak to an oral surgeon before it gets any worse. sorry for the long post
Does This Growth Get This Guy laid?
it’s a “fleshylimabeanorballsofasmallanimal” type growth.
Look it up.
if you have not had your wisdom teeth taken out it could related to that, mine were coming in fucked up and i had something like that in my mouth that shot out puss…ladies loved it
Wake up with molarclits!
that’s no alien. an alien is what comes out of my butthole without fail every saturday and sunday morning.
It’s probably just a fatty cyst. All of that pizza cheese has to go somewhere.
Oh, and your arteries are all clogged. And your dick will stop working soon.
I think you’re developing a case of side-mouth.
Vote 1 for “It’s benign.”
Vote 10 for “I want to be a pallbearer.”
GET IT OFFFFF MEEE!!!!
looks like cum . . .
your MA medicaid doesnt cover it?
http://www.hulu.com/watch/102975/saturday-night-live-what-up-with-that
WHAT UP WITH THAT???
Go to a doctor ASAP… not a dentist…
http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec08/ch113/ch113b.html
Noncancerous growths due to irritation are relatively common and, if necessary, can be removed by surgery. In 10 to 40% of people, noncancerous growths on the gums recur because the irritant remains. Occasionally such irritation, particularly if it persists over a long period of time, can lead to cancer.
ITS A SMARTFOOD POPCORN KERNEL THAT GOT COVERED IN SCAR TISSUE.
I havent been to a doc or dentist in a few years either. But if I had that thing in my mouth I would def get it checked out.
Here’s a quarter….go pay a rat to gnaw it off.
I don’t know what that thing is..but those look like dick sucking lips
I know exactly what that is, i had one like that about three weeks ago. I went to the doctor and he explained that it is an overgrown cold sore. It’s a sign that a herpes outbreak will ensue in 3 to 5 days. Good luck chief, you’re ganna need it…
It’s a wisdom toof.
That’s what’s left of Adam Lambert’s pennis after El Pres demolished it
I see a new t-shirt in the works.
kudos to the Total Recall comment
Yeah, dude. Wisdom tooth. It’s erupting from your gums crooked and causing the appearance of that “flap.” Food and bacteria gets trapped under the flap which causes an infection called “pericorinitis” – you’ll know you have this if your entire jaw starts to hurt, there is a bad taste and bad smell in your mouth etc.
Long story short, go get those fucking wisdom teeth yanked. They’ll strap an IV to your arm and on top of that give you nitrous oxide. It’ll be the most high you’ve ever been. Then they give a week’s supply of pain killers. Not bad.
3 Points to make
Bean2′s comment made me laugh literally out loud in my cube and people are wondering what I am laughing at.
second, I love the way you circled it in the first pic. Like we were gonna be like “What’s he talking about? I don’t see anything…..”
And lastly WTF this site runs like dogshit man. You are getting HOSED by your hosting company.
Adam Lambert’s testicle. There’s probably one on the other side too
On a serious not dude, that is an abcessed tooth, you can die from that shit if it gets septicemic. not fucking around
You got your tetanus shot right? Poke the fucking thing with a rusty nail before its brain and major organs develop. Its the humane thing to do.
prez got the herp
yup its probably a wisdom tooth
Gotta love the Uncle Buck comment
suck it up, cut it out.
its called cancer
Mortal Lock of the Century : That thing in el pres’s mouth is def. cancer
Pres,
If you haven’t had your wisdom(3rd molars removed)it’s most likely a ”irritation fibroma” which is caused by an extra piece of gum tissue which is half covering your wisdom tooth. They arise from you chewing on the tissue, or irritating it. Hence the name. If you go to a general dentist they can give you a little anesthesia and remove it, or if you go to an oral surgeon, they can remove your 3rd molar, and suture up the area. Not really a big dea.
If it appeared in a short amount of time, it most likely is benign, but if it’s been there an has slowly been growing it could be something more, and they’d send it off to a pathology lab for complete diagnosis.
Go see an Oral Surgeon….
The good dr!
It’s a mucocele. No big deal. Easy to drain. See an ENT.
Dont’ have mucous tissue distal of the third molar, it’s fibrous connective tissue.
I said get to a doctor ASAP!
http://library.thinkquest.org/trio/TTQ03034/mouth_cancer_cr.jpg
p.s. I blame this picture on the fact that I had 5 minutes to kill as your site loaded…
Kid, go to the fucking doctor already!
I would say that’s an Armani Tumor.
I can see Floyd Mayweather banging away at that thing while staring at the camera on the next 24/7.
Does This Look Like the Mouth of a Guy Who Hasn’t Gone to the Dentist in Years??
your gums are growing over your wisdom teeth (if they haven’t been pulled yet)… happened here and Verinos Dental (978) 535-3800 will take care of it with the quickness, and the bitches there are hot for the most part… if you’ve already had your wisdom teeth pulled, i’d get that checked out and good luck with that
Similar thing happened to me in Vegas – except mine was under my tounge. I had cut my saliva gland that got infected… looks like u cut a different gland. Get thee to a doctor.
my girlfriend is a dental hygieniest and says its an “Operculum which is flap of tissue over a partially erupted or unerupted tooth, particularly a third molar. It may result in pericoronitis with inflammation of the flap tissue”
It is your clit, Linda.
tom hanks took a skate and rock to his mouth…suck it up
Looks like a mucocele to me. I had one last year, had to go to the oral surgeon to have it hacked out. It often happens after biting your lip.
Get that checked out…..I had a problem similar to that, but under the jawline instead of in my mouth. Turned out being a benign (sp?) cyst that kept growing and coming back….doctors couldn’t figure out what kept causing the re-occurrences of the cyst. I have had 3 surgeries in 3 years on my neck/jaw and still wonder if it is going to come back again. Shit sucks…..but I have a crazy scar on my neck now, and whenever I chill with my Asian buddy Ed I tell everyone he tried cutting my throat in an angry emo filled rage.
So what was it ?
I had something like that last year but on the inside of my lip. It was called a mucocele, Its when damage is done to your salivary ducts. You have to go to a surgeon and have it cut out.