Eonline – If you were a boy growing up in the late ’80s or early ’90s, odds are you had a crush on Danica McKellar. She played Winnie Cooper, the object of Fred Savage’s obsession on “ The Wonder Years.” The nostalgia-fueled sitcom has been off the air since ’93, but Ms. McKeller still has legions of fans. Today, most of them are heartbroken. Their fair Winnie is officially off the market. The maid of honor got some love as well. Danica’s sister, Crystal McKellar, was in the wedding party. Crystal is best known for playing Kevin’s ex-girlfriend turned archrival, Becky Slater. She memorably punched Kevin in the stomach after he broke up with her. According to E! Online, Mr. Savage (now a director of dubious talents) didn’t attend the wedding, but his TV parents, Dan Lauria and Alley Mills, were there. No word on Josh Saviano, who played Kevin’s best friend, Paul Pfeiffer.
So I turned 32 this past weekend. Yeah, I heard people whispering that I was getting old, blah, blah, blah. I even had a text message from a 21 year old former smokeshow that said “Happy 80th bitch.” But it didn’t get me down. I still felt young at heart. I still felt like I could mix it up with college kids and fit in. But then I read that Winnie Cooper got married and Becky Slater was the maid of honor. Now I’m depressed as shit. Seriously this is almost as bad as when I found out that chick from Full House had like 7 babies or Hoby from Baywatch was a crack addict. I mean I’m officially old as shit now aren’t I? I bet at our barstool parties when I overhear all the college chicks with hot asses gossiping about the creepy old guy who tried to talk to them, they’re talking about me. This sucks big time. I mean Winnie Cooper really got married? Just doesn’t seem right.
PS – Kevin Savage can cut the shit with his Mr. Big routine. How does he not show up at Winnie Cooper’s marriage? Total bullshit.