LUSAKA (Reuters) – A monkey urinated on Zambian President Rupiah Banda as he spoke to journalists at a news conference on Wednesday. Banda softly shouted: “You (monkey) have urinated on my jacket,” and paused as he looked up to see the animal playing in a tree just above his chair. “Perhaps these are blessings,” he said continuing his address amid laughter from the audience of journalists and diplomats at the State House presidential offices. Several monkeys play around the grounds of Banda’s residence and his office.

Well I’m not saying I’d go out and start buying Powerball tickets if I was the Zambian president, but I’m also not saying I wouldn’t. I mean everybody knows it’s a harbinger of good fortune any time you get pissed on by a monkey. Just like it is when a bird shits on your head. Basically, any time an animal defecates on you, you know things are going in the right direction.  Rumor has it Don Larsen took a Cleveland Steamer from his neighbor’s German shepherd the night before he pitched a perfect game. Don’t believe me? You could look it up. I’m just saying, if I were a venture capitalist, I’d keep my eye on the Zambian economy.. just another tip from the Stool.

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